Autistic teens does it get easier?

HoneyBlossoms · 2025-08-30T14:43:20+00:00

Anyone with autistic teens that still want to come absolutely everywhere with you? Don't get me wrong I'm sure some people would love this but I can't even nip out to the shop without them wanting to come with me, they don't like being left home alone at all even for 5 minutes so I've not had a single second all summer. Again I know some would love this as their teens don't want to spend time with them (so I'm told by other parents) but I find it suffocating. Does it get better? I'm worried about when they get older

R0ckandHardPlace · 30/08/2025 19:48

Mine used to constantly follow me round the house, even to the bathroom, like a toddler. If I was on the loo he’d wait outside. It drove me insane! When I was cooking in the kitchen he’d stand a foot away from me the whole time. No amount of encouragement for him to go and sit down would work.

He did grow out of it eventually, maybe by 21.

anon15830201174585920220384848320204738229 · 30/08/2025 21:38

I would be encouraging some independence.

do they have friends they see or speak to? See if they can chat online for an hour or meet up for an hour to give you some peace.

SmallandSpanish · 30/08/2025 22:37

I’ve been wondering the same thing. I have an undiagnosed 15 yr old who constantly wants to play (card games/ football/ word games etc) with me, or watch stuff together on tv, and a ASD 12 year old who still sleeps with me at least once a week, never stays over night anywhere else. Neither want to be on a separate floor, let alone be left. I’m about to die from suffocation x

Original poster

HoneyBlossoms · 30/08/2025 23:23

anon15830201174585920220384848320204738229 · 30/08/2025 21:38

I would be encouraging some independence.

do they have friends they see or speak to? See if they can chat online for an hour or meet up for an hour to give you some peace.

No they don't.

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Original poster

HoneyBlossoms · 30/08/2025 23:24

SmallandSpanish · 30/08/2025 22:37

I’ve been wondering the same thing. I have an undiagnosed 15 yr old who constantly wants to play (card games/ football/ word games etc) with me, or watch stuff together on tv, and a ASD 12 year old who still sleeps with me at least once a week, never stays over night anywhere else. Neither want to be on a separate floor, let alone be left. I’m about to die from suffocation x

I'm glad to hear it's not just me! It honestly sometimes feels like it! I wouldn't be seen dead shopping with my mum after about 12 so it's definitely been a big adjustment! I can't go anywhere without them

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Original poster

HoneyBlossoms · 30/08/2025 23:24

R0ckandHardPlace · 30/08/2025 19:48

Mine used to constantly follow me round the house, even to the bathroom, like a toddler. If I was on the loo he’d wait outside. It drove me insane! When I was cooking in the kitchen he’d stand a foot away from me the whole time. No amount of encouragement for him to go and sit down would work.

He did grow out of it eventually, maybe by 21.

Edited

It's nice to hear there is light at the end of the tunnel even if it is a long way off

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Nat6999 · 30/08/2025 23:31

My ds never stayed at home alone, he much preferred to go with me if he could. 6 month after turning 18 he met his partner, left home by stealth to live with them & got married a year later. Make the most of having them around you, time passes to fast & you will wish you could turn back the clock, it's the same for parents who can't wait for their children to grow up, one day you will give anything for the cuddles, that tiny hand in yours, bathtimes & bedtime stories.

Original poster

HoneyBlossoms · 30/08/2025 23:43

Nat6999 · 30/08/2025 23:31

My ds never stayed at home alone, he much preferred to go with me if he could. 6 month after turning 18 he met his partner, left home by stealth to live with them & got married a year later. Make the most of having them around you, time passes to fast & you will wish you could turn back the clock, it's the same for parents who can't wait for their children to grow up, one day you will give anything for the cuddles, that tiny hand in yours, bathtimes & bedtime stories.

Yes I understand that but I think any parent would find it suffocating people get annoyed with their toddlers following them round! It also makes days out tricky like I can't take my youngest to things because they wouldn't be interested etc or every time we go shopping they are wanting to buy things.

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parrotonmyshoulder · 31/08/2025 12:51

Oh I’ve found my people! DS is ND and just turned 13. This summer has been stifling and I wfh so feels like no escape (great in term time!). He’s always waiting for me to finish what I’m doing so I can ‘do something’ with him. I love being with him, a lot of the time, but not all the time! He’s also VERY conflict seeking and this is particularly wearing.
It’s great if we have a friend/ cousins over but he can’t/ won’t organise this himself and will always try to get out of it if I organise it, even though he does enjoy it and doesn’t want it to end.

ByGreyWriter · 31/08/2025 16:59

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Original poster

HoneyBlossoms · 31/08/2025 20:07

parrotonmyshoulder · 31/08/2025 12:51

Oh I’ve found my people! DS is ND and just turned 13. This summer has been stifling and I wfh so feels like no escape (great in term time!). He’s always waiting for me to finish what I’m doing so I can ‘do something’ with him. I love being with him, a lot of the time, but not all the time! He’s also VERY conflict seeking and this is particularly wearing.
It’s great if we have a friend/ cousins over but he can’t/ won’t organise this himself and will always try to get out of it if I organise it, even though he does enjoy it and doesn’t want it to end.

That sounds familiar especially the conflict thing. Sadly my DS has no friends though and isn't interested in making any

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mumisfull · 31/08/2025 20:23

Raises hand.
DD14 is halfway through ASD assessment. She is always with me and often needs to touch me for safety. When we are out she either holds my hand or clutches my arm.
Occasionally she will meet up with her one friend but can only manage and hour or so before she is overwhelmed.
She used to sleep with me too, but can manage with Dad on her floor now so I get a break.
I manage to work 2 days which is my break but she rings to see where I am if I’m 5 mins late. She does online school so is always at home.

I love her so much and enjoy her company but goodness I sometimes need to breath!

ahhh feel better for writing that down!

Dizzy82 · 31/08/2025 20:29

My son's 19 and he's like my shadow, yesterday I needed something from a different place in the supermarket and said to him and my mum that I'd meet them in the clothes section and he could pick some new pyjamas. When I met up with them he had said to my mum that he couldn't pick any until I was back.

He's moving out on Friday into Uni on Friday, so that's going to be interesting for both of us lol!

Liketheclappers · 31/08/2025 21:52

My DS was the same. He's 20 now, lives at home but at the local uni. He's found his people after being so severely bullied at school. It's been a learning curve for us both. He's having to learn how to navigate friendship groups and I've had to learn that he's not always by my side any more. All I wanted was for him to find that independence but I do feel a little lost now and then as he was so intense when he was little/teen.

Original poster

HoneyBlossoms · 01/09/2025 01:01

I'm glad it's not just me it honestly helps to hear from others, I think it's hard to understand unless you are in the situation as I've had lots of people tell me they would love their teens to want to spend time with them but when it's literally every minute of the day it does feel suffocating. I can never just nip anywhere they have to come to drs appointments/ dentist/ hospital/ shopping/ post box 😂

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parrotonmyshoulder · 01/09/2025 07:34

It does help to be able to have a bit of a whinge about it. Any discussions I ever have really are about how to help him, the impact of it all on him, but never about me!