Son doesn't know what to do when not with friends, is this normal?

[Confused92739572]

My son is 14 and is VERY sociable. He lives for his friends. They are a very active bunch and are out biking, football, sports etc all the time. Straight after school during term time and every day during the school holidays.
He has seen them every single day for 6 weeks for many hours a day, plus plays on the playstation with them on headset at night.
Today the friends aren't out as its raining / they are busy and he is completely lost. He does this every time. His mood declines hugely, and hes sulking about. Won't come out of his room just lying about.
There are things he needs to do/can do to fill his time, he needs to sort his room, get stuff ready for school, sort through his fishing stuff, or god forbid spend time with us. But he won't do any of it. Just sits waiting for one of them to finally message him.
I like that he has friends and is social, but it worries me he is so reliant on them. He has other issues that we are waiting on diagnoses for (adhd, pda, ocd, anxiety) and he says he feels much better when out with friends filling his time . Gets more symptoms of the above when alone.
I hope hes got a few years left with these mates but life changes once they start growing up, getting jobs, getting girlfriends and there will come a time when they will only see each other on a Friday night for example.
I cant relate to him at all as I am not social at all and neither is his dad.

How can we encourage him to spend time doing other things when he flatly refuses?

I have no answer to the main question as we are just at the start of this, but don't forget that when "life changes once they start growing up, getting jobs, getting girlfriends" your son will be older and change too.
A lot of men socialise mostly with their girlfriend once they get one and that may happen to him if he can't bear to be alone and his mates are busy (with their girlfriends).

I wouldn't worry too much my ds is a the same age, if he's not with his friends he's gaming or watching tiktok, sleeping or eating. I see being sociable as a good thing, you'd be more worried if he was holed up in his room never going out and never speaking to anyone?

Yes hopefully. I meant to say due to his issues i would say he is around 2 years behind his friends developmentally- maturity, emotions etc. So im fore seeing a gap between 17-20 where they will start to do those things and he may not
Cant predict the future of course

God I could have written this!

My son. has no 'indoor hobbies' - he literally cannot cope without his friends. He is great company and social and loves the outdoors but a total rat in the house - unless gaming. in fact we just had a massive row about the fact he is a huge grump unless he has friends to hang out with

I think it's fine and they will grow up to be strong independent adults! better than being socially anxious.

The problem in modern life is kids NOT being social - coming straight home after school to game etc. I think your problem is the better one.

That’s brilliant that he has such good friends and that he is out and about with them. Does he do any set activities like football club or cadets or something? Does he have siblings?
What do you do with him that he enjoys? I’ve always played a lot of board games and game style video games (Marioparty etc) with my kids and it’s continued despite the fact they are now all adults and have left home. I also found my kids more than wiling to come out with me for a quick bite to eat. Obviously that may not be possible due to finances/travel etc but if it is a quick trip to a pizza restaurant, Macdonalds or wherever it is that he likes can be a really easy way to hang out.

I shall try not to worry then! My main concern was his low mood when not with friends if that continues into adulthood.
He has a younger sister who i have i have the opposite problem with, she never wants to go out.
He has told us this year he doesn't want to do anything with us anymore.

I’m a little more negative here than the other posters - I have an autistic 10 year old (awaiting assessment for autism, high anxiety, showing some signs of obsessive behaviour).

He loves being with his friends, which I thought was good, but he is so absolutely distraught to not be in the same class as one of them from September that we have had some tough conversations and I realise that he is using them to manage his anxiety. He actually does not know how to manage without them in a classroom environment, and we are now sorting out therapy, asking the school for more support etc,

I just notice that you said his symptoms seem worse without his friends - that can just be because he is busy and occupied with them, but it could also be because he is relying on them, which obviously is not a good long term strategy!