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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teenagers- spoilt or normal?

92 replies

PowderPants · 26/08/2025 08:00

We are on the holiday of a life time- Safari and beach.
The kids are 16 and 15 years and were involved in the choice and were excited.
However between them one or other is continually sulky or sullen. It’s really putting a dampener on things. One spent most of the time asleep in the safari vehicle and had to be woken to see lion! We really are in tropical paradise and I can’t decide if this is normal or I have raised two spoiled brats. They broke me at breakfast this morning as they squabbled over a hotel waffle so I have left them to it! I have skuttled off to lie on the beach….. it’s not exactly a tough life but it’s such a shame they are ruining things.

OP posts:
mamaduckbone · 27/08/2025 19:49

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 26/08/2025 08:20

I don’t agree that this is normal in the slightest - if I’d ever dared behaved that way on holiday I’d have been given a proper bollocking - and rightly so.

This

DDsoclever · 27/08/2025 19:50

I don't think normal. We've just done big holiday including Safari, culture, trains, hikes, rafting, diving, beach. 15 and 17 year old delightful throughout. They did spend a lot of time in room on WiFi at the beach which made me roll my eyes but they threw themselves into every excursion and were polite and grateful to the staff, guides, driver and all the other people we met.

MichelleCancelled · 27/08/2025 19:54

Spoilt, all that money spent and no appreciation.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 27/08/2025 19:58

I have a 19yo dd who would be in heaven doing a safari so it wouldn’t be normal ime.

Did you pull them up on their behaviour and how they’re making you feel?

RoverReturn · 27/08/2025 20:03

Normal for teens imo.

We went to Florida- Disney and universal when the DC were 13 and 15 and they were moody and sulky at times. Plus argued with each other which was unusual. At times I felt we may as well have been doing a wet week in Wales...

We'd previously gone when they were aged 8 and 10 and there seemed much more sense of fun.

Despite this they both say they preferred the 2nd trip , (probably because they could go on more of the rides) so I think they forgot the moods.

doodleygirl · 27/08/2025 20:08

No, it’s not Norma§l, why are your standards so low?

Unomum21 · 27/08/2025 20:14

zaxxon · 26/08/2025 08:45

Sounds normal to me, although you're sure to get posters here saying, "Oh goodness no I would never have tolerated such brattish behaviour, and lo and behold, my DCs have turned out 100% perfect while everyone else's are total nightmares, so there!"

I've found things tend to get better on the last couple of days of the holiday - maybe because the end is in sight, maybe because they're more rested & acclimatised, maybe because they're tired of missing out, who knows? So you may yet have a good day or two.

I find the same.. my 13yr old has told us most of the holiday, she's missing home and her friends, but the last 4 days (of a 16 day break in France, travelling around) she's really perked up!

I've said she has to come with us for another 2 or 3 family summer holidays and when aged sixteen she can stay home with dog and a family member..

MrsKeats · 27/08/2025 21:06

People really need to stop trying to normalise awful behaviour.

waterrat · 27/08/2025 21:16

Your post made me immediately remember being 16 myself - and being taken to the carribean - it was because a relative had moved there - so we had lovely house to go to pool etc - but - i hated it!! I was really homesick and just totally FOMO crazy to be missing out on the summer at home with friends.

I remember crying and asking if we could go back early! it was absolutely a 'trip of a lifetime' but for me it was boring.

Teenagers are designed by evolution to be very much more focused on peers than family. while phones do make that more apparent - I think 30 years ago we felt just the same.

I don't think there is actually any real reason why teens should enjoy something like this - it's perfectly healthy and normal that they would rather be home with their mates.!

tough for you though - but im not convinced holidays are really as great as we adults say they are anyway.

Isshereally · 27/08/2025 21:19

“Holiday of a life time” may be they feel some pressure to enjoy it.
As kids get in to their teens their peers become more important than their parents.

CharlotteLightandDark · 27/08/2025 22:32

I think 15 and 16 is a bit old for this behaviour, would understand it from 11-12 year olds but by mid teens they should have more concept of the value of a trip like this. Unless they go on these sort of trips all the time and have become blasé about them, which is pretty spoilt I guess.

Mickey540 · 29/08/2025 20:34

PowderPants · 26/08/2025 08:24

Ah. Thank you. They can sometimes be delightful and kind. One teen in particular is being foul this holiday though:
They spent 10 days on an activity camp immediately before we left was exhausted upon return, and is spending an inordinate amount of time on their phone when we have WiFi- I do wonder if they have found love 🤣. It’s the only thing I can think of.
I have tried the whole “this is my holiday and you are ruining it for me” chat but doesn’t seem to have landed.

@PowderPants i could of written this myself! I have twin boys 15 and we have had plenty of holidays with dramas and moody teenagers every year I say I’m not taking them again, forget all about it and take them again! Our last holiday we actually had zero drama as we were on a cruise they were happy as Larry all week 😂

Mickey540 · 29/08/2025 20:37

RoverReturn · 27/08/2025 20:03

Normal for teens imo.

We went to Florida- Disney and universal when the DC were 13 and 15 and they were moody and sulky at times. Plus argued with each other which was unusual. At times I felt we may as well have been doing a wet week in Wales...

We'd previously gone when they were aged 8 and 10 and there seemed much more sense of fun.

Despite this they both say they preferred the 2nd trip , (probably because they could go on more of the rides) so I think they forgot the moods.

@RoverReturn i think that’s it’s I have twin boys we usually always have some stress and drama but always end up forgetting it and saying it was a great holiday despite saying we are never taking them again 😂

Inlimboin50s · 31/08/2025 10:32

I've just returned from a four night break in Devon,myself, son 17 and he took a friend 16.

Finally I found something that worked for us,I let the boys sleep in whilst I took the car to find a coffee shop,when I got back,they went out,mainly walked to the village and they even tried body boarding. However,I only bought bought one board to share incase they didn't like it and luckily I didn't buy two as they didn't do it again!
I took them mackerel fishing on a cool boat and even though it rained and was windy and no fish were caught, that was a success.
Also a trip to a small north Devon harbour where I gave them some money for fish and chips and said see you in 3hrs. They loved the independence of me not organising much and doing their own thing,like sitting in the burrows in the evenings. I'll never take DS abroad at this age again,last year he didn't leave the room until around 5pm. And it was just him and me,a total washout!

malificent7 · 01/09/2025 15:07

Well family holiday is an oxymoron don't you know!
Normal in my experience.

ByGreyWriter · 01/09/2025 16:46

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

aCatCalledFawkes · 02/09/2025 11:53

Well I didn't think it was normal as my two are like it but my parents say that we were the same and they were also super strict so I don't think its a reflection of me. My son thinks going on holiday is staying in the hotel the whole time.

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