Friendship breakdowns since leaving Y11

[MamaElephantMama]

Can anyone relate? It’s been a bit of a lonely summer for my teen.

Before my DC left school in June they were the most sociable person and were very rarely at home but since school ended she now only has a couple of friends to hang out with and that’s when it suits them.

Immediately after leavers most of the kids left group chats and stopped wanted to be friends with others from school. The big weekend days out stopped and now nobody makes plans with each other.

Hoping DC makes lots of new friends when they start college in September but she had a low day yesterday.

I can relate. My DD has not kept in touch with anyone from secondary. She’s just graduated and it’s the same again. However she is autistic and has always found friendships hard. (Trying to gauge whether people are acquaintances/friendly or whether they are friends is tricky and she can be ‘best friends’ very quickly which doesn’t lead to a solid friendship.) She does however have a couple of neurodiverse friends from primary who ‘get’ her and are in regular contact with her.

Has your DC always had good solid friendships or were they the acquaintance/friendly type?

College in Sept will hopefully be a high point where your DC will make friends with similar interests to her. From that I hope she makes some good solid friendships that stand the test of time.

Thanks for replying. I’m glad your DD still has friends who keep in contact.

She had a couple of solid friends within the group who she is still close to but the rest almost had the attitude of ‘we were all friends because we had to be at school together’ and so the group has fell apart. While I’m pleased she still has a couple of friends it’s hard for her when they are off doing their own things and she only has me for company.

I can relate. My DS 17 is better 1-1 and whilst popular within a group has few close friends. When he left secondary he was going to be going to a 6th form much further away where he knew nobody, that said he has made sone good friends who he sometimes gets together with but he also has a steady girlfriend and is really happy