DS seems unhappy after decent GCSE results

[SesTheBrave]

GCSE results yesterday and DS passed them all and got what he needs to take his place in 6th form to do A levels he wants. He has been extra grumpy and off his food since though.
Not sure if he was just overwhelmed with nervous energy or he’s disappointed with his grades.
He got 7 in maths, 7-6 in science, 6 in PE, 4 in RE and 5s in geography, business studies, Spanish and both English. Pretty much match his predicted grades except PE he was hoping for an 8 and business he was hoping for a 7. He also plans to do both of those at A level along with biology.

He went out with his friends yesterday afternoon and then we went for family dinner last night. He said he’d not eaten during the day when out and asked to just have main course at dinner. He’s not finished his dinner this evening either. Just makes me think his nerves / emotions are all over the place.

He’s naturally quite introverted but comfortable in his own skin. I’m tempted to wait and see how he is the next couple of days. I’m worried if I say something he will think I’m disappointed with his results (which I’m not).

Any suggestions or am I just overthinking and need to let him have some time?

I don’t think it’s just nerves of receiving results, something is nagging him. Could it be that someone commented on his results? Or could it be that he’s made a bet about them ?
Of course he might be just unwell.

By the way are you absolutely sure that his results are ok for the sixth form?

GCSE results are a big milestone, that makes you realise you're getting older, there's lots more big decisions and milestone coming up.

I remember at that age feeling rather unsettled that college (no 6th forms in my area) was only 2 years and then I'd have to move out of home. School friends went to other colleges and courses or got jobs. I wondered if I needed to get a job and save for uni.

It marks the end if 5 years of relative stability. He might just be generally anxious about the future.

You'll only find out by making space for him to open up to you, and I have no idea what gets teenage boys to do that!

He got a 7 in Maths and 5 in each English and he passed 10 in total with double science grade 7-6.
For his subject choices, I thought a minimum of a 5 was ok so that should be fine?

It can be almost like a relief and then sometimes a feeling of flatness – after all the build-up. Maybe it’s that?

A good way to get a teen to talk IME is to drive somewhere with them. If they can't look at you or you at them they sometimes open up. With DS2 it was better on the way back (usually from sport so after the match etc).

I agree with @pizzaHeart are you sure that 6-7 (do you have the breakdown to know how he did in bio specifically? was it better than a 6?) in science, 6 in PE and 5 in business are OK for A level? Does he know why he didn't do as well as he hoped in some? Did he not revise, or maybe not know how to revise? Might he be concerned about A levels? A grade 5 is not really ideal and he wouldn't be allowed to do A level anything with a 5 or science A level with a 6 at my DCs’ (fairly lax as these things go) secondary.

ETA: seen your update – a 5 is not IMO a good enough grade for A level, no. Unless there was some massive reason eg big upset on exam day, failed to turn over the paper to see the last question, that kind of thing. MFL is my subject and I would want a grade 7. Science ideally a 7, maths a 7. Grade 6 for most other subjects IME is the minimum. Just from a PoV of possible future grade really.

Yes, it could be that now the reality of the next stage is a bit overwhelming. He got a place at his current school and nearby 6th form college and has today decided to stay at his school.

I think it’s the anti climax mainly. Add on everything changing with everyone going their separate ways and new people / colleges / teachers / friends to get used to. It’s crept up fast!

I asked him yesterday if the 5 in Business Studies is ok to do A level and he replied yes and didn’t need to double check.

Do you think I should email the school and double check? I guess with Business Studies they get some people who choose it as an A level who didn’t do it at GCSE so how would that compare in terms of entry requirements?

Ds is happy here with results (a bit mixed as well) but suddenly worrying about bridging work not done before the new term, if friends will be in his classes, etc, it is not long from the results to starting back is it.

I would check he can do the courses. Do they put the info on their website? Some schools and colleges want higher than a 5 in the subjects the students want to study at A level.

Maybe he is just a bit disappointed that he got 2 grades lower than he thought he would in 2 of the subjects he wants to do at A level, even if he can still do A levels in them, which is understandable as it can knock their confidence. Could he maybe be concerned he might struggle at A level now?

After checking he can definitely do them, I think it would be a good idea to have a chat with him. Reiterate that he has done well and how proud you are that he worked hard etc so that he knows you’re not disappointed, but ask if there’s anything bothering him as you’ve noticed he doesn’t seem himself, is off his food etc.

As long as he can do his courses, I’m sure any disappointment will fade once he has started college. It’s all about the A levels then.

I do think that there is such a build up to results day, that the kids don’t think much past that, and then suddenly even when they have the results they need, they realise they’re starting college in a couple of weeks and it’s another big thing for them to think about.

I’ve just checked school website and it says “Please be aware that A level subjects usually have a minimum requirement of a grade 5, this will have to be achieved to study specific subjects.”

My DD also very down despite getting good results (mostly 8s with some 7s and 9s). Lots of comparisons with friends who got more 9s makes her feel less than. I do wonder if your Ds has been sharing results with friends and comparing and watching tik tok and getting false or unhelpful information.

Eg at my DD’s sixth form they needed 7s to do most subjects apart from 8s to do separate sciences and maths. The stats on getting a good A level in subject where the student got a 5 at gcse are not good - someone has posted here before. Eg it might be better to do maths A level rather than business studies (which some universities aren’t keen on as a facilitating subject anyway).

I hear what you’re saying in that he’s met the minimum requirements for his particular sixth form, but he may be having other advice or (mis)information buzzing around him and bringing him down.

That sounds fine then. At my dd’s school it’s usually a 6 but each school is different. She got 6s in hers and is on track for BBB

It is possible that his friends he spent the afternoon with were talking about their results and got higher grades. I don’t know that and I don’t want to ask what his friends got as that could make things worse and it’s really none of my business! It’s hard in life not to compare yourself to others, especially when you’re a teenager. He doesn’t have TikTok but I’m sure there’s various chats with friends. Will take a look at his phone tomorrow (he knows we’re allowed to look at his phone any time)

He did previously consider maths A level but was more interested in Business Studies. He opted not to do Further Maths GCSE which he was given the option to do, because he wasn’t going to do it at A level. His school like you to have done Further Maths if you want to do Maths at A level, although it’s not an absolute requirement.

he has a day at work tomorrow which may be a welcome distraction!

OK well if school is happy with a 5 in A level subjects then that’s OK. He should be aware (tho perhaps this week is not the time for this) that he will need to put in some serious work or he risks getting lower grades than he might hope.

Some interesting stats I just found from some 2020-2022 research suggest that approx two-thirds of students taking business A level with a grade of 5 or lower at GCSE gained a grade C or lower at A level.

But that's better than the stat for biology, where of those taking it with ≤ 5 almost 90% got a C or lower.

Ofc I have no idea what his future plans are. Grades of B and C at A level are perfectly worthwhile, whatever you may read on MN. Not every student gains all As and A-stars.

Hopefully work will help and his mood and appetite will lift. It’s been a hard few months for them with revision, exams, leaving school, waiting for and getting results and the anticipation of starting something new. Lots of changes in a small amount of time and I think it would leave lots of us feeling many different emotions. Hope he’s ok, it’s hard for us as parents seeing them go though it as well.