Parties and drinking and doing what they want

[HollyIvy89]

How do others navigate a teen who keeps throwing comments about you can’t baby me anymore, you can’t tell me what to do or what I can and can’t do. She is just about 17. She’s about to start college. She will meet new people. I am sure there will be more ‘gaffs’ and temptations on the way.

I am Scotland. In Scotland we seem to have a slightly different law in that we have parental guidance rather than responsibility from 16.

no one has ever been able to tell me what that means for us on here.

Shes extremely mean and rude in her shouts and word at me. Dad is removed and has text chat with him and money is sent her way.

How do other navigate teens past 16 when they want to go out to parties and drink / concerts etc but then they expect to come home to a nice room etc

what are my options. I have tried the whilst you are living in this house you have to abide by rules and have respect which is always met with so you’re throwing me out are you and just whole thing causes massive tantrum and argument. It’s been a mega tough ride with arguments when I try talk to her over her teens and I just don’t know how to navigate the next year before 18 any different

And to say often when she goes to a party she gets drunk and someone calls me to come get her.

Well she can't buy drink unless she has money.
She can't access the WiFi if she hasn't got the password.
She can tidy her own room.
And do her own laundry..
And here bad attitude =make your own evening meal.
And lifts? No chance.

In an ideal world id tell her she has a choice whether she wants to act like an adult or a child and that is the way she will be treated. If she wants to be and adult and go out and have freedom then she needs to pay for that and contribute to the household cooking, cleaning and financially if she wants to still be a child then their are rules. Unfortunately we dont live in an ideal world and this age is honestly a nightmare their so in-between one minute they do something and your like wow their really growing up the next minute they do something and your like seriously grow the hell up. I really have no advice apart from it will get better and you just have to ride it out and try your best to keep her safe and protect her while also letting go and stepping back

I'd go with it. She's right in that she is almost an adult. I don't think you're going to have any luck trying to stop her going out to parties or drinking etc. I'd try and cut back on any nagging as much as possible (hard, I know!).

Let her have the freedom to make her own mistakes and then be there for her when she makes one and comes home crying to you. It's frustrating, but they're just like toddlers really! Pick your battles, this too shall pass.

I would be careful not to bail her out of every mistake though. She does need to learn the consequences of her actions. I wouldn't be offering a taxi service, cooking all her meals, buying everything, doing her laundry etc. She's nearly an adult and after all with great power comes great responsibility!