DS 18 bullied and not able to have a normal teen life - advice please.

[Basilandparsleyandmint]

My DS 18 has had a problem now for about a year. He has just finished sixth form with no real friends left.

The reasons for this vary from fall outs over girls. Not blaming the girls at all please understand.DS had a relationship with a sixth form girl that now goes out with an ex friend. Another lad and he fell out due to relationship break up with the daughter of a family friend and the lad cannot tolerate her coming to our home with parents. Said boy as taken to threatened other boys that have since had a relations with this girl. It’s all very childish reasons for disliking my DS as far as we cannot understand.

However the problem is that these boys have all taken their dislike to the next level. They have chased my son around our town in cars trying to get too close etc. DS cannot go into our local town to the pubs at the weekend as he has been followed / videoed and told to leave as he will be punched if he stays.

last weekend he was again followed in a car with two of these boys who then parked outside our home shouting. This is not the first time they have been outside our home. I went out to see them but they denied who they were. The driver has a personalised plate with his initials so not very bright.

My DS has stopped attending football as the older brother of one of these boys has made threats to him as well.

DH and I just don’t know what to do - he is living a life no 18 year should. He was meant to be leaving for uni so we thought a fresh start but unfortunately it will not be going this year now.I had thought about contacting the police but DS is afraid it will make the situation worse.
Any advice would be most welcome.

I was asking in terms of looking at all angles it was not a judgement for or against. All you or anyone knows is as much as we are told.

the same way these other boys only know what they’ve been told….

regardless he’s off to uni and hopefully the distance and loss of target mean they will find something else to do with their spare time

He's going to Uni next year and may never move back home...you can't uproot a whole family for the sake of a year.

I think Op's update is that he's now going to uni this year, which is brilliant! This is the best way to deal with this - for him to get away asap.

My son had some trouble too. He stuck up for a girl against her ex boyfriend and the boy then kept saying things to him. The boy who was 17 at the time kept ringing our doorbell and running away after that. It was winter so it was dark early. It was scary and based on what the boy was saying to my son we did speak to the police. We did decide not to pursue it though. They did stop coming to the house. I did say to my husband when the weather got nicer and they could drink in a pub they would stop. My son went to uni and never looked back. The problem with my son is he goes has a lot of friends that aren’t really close. He has some from primary, secondary school, college, drama and the various jobs he has had and he has to get involved in their drama. After this he was told to keep his nose out of other people’s business. It’s so hard and I really feel for your son. I was petrified when he started coming to the house. The house should be your safe space. I hope these idiots soon get bored and your son can move on at uni and flourish. It won’t last forever.

His life at uni will be so different and he’ll make some great friends. I’m so pleased he’s getting away. Sadly, if you don’t move he will not visit very often.

He's 18 and adult. Tell him to move out, move on and forget girls for a while

The scum will sort itself out, don't worry about them. The UK still has prisons

Thank you for replies and just to update I have been to speak to the police this afternoon and have some good advice and they are going to keep eyes on mentioned areas but I didn’t give specifics but will should there be any further harassment from the teens.