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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

troubled DDs - does it work out ok in the end?

6 replies

Blimeyblighty · 19/08/2025 13:15

Just seeking some positive stories tbh as although I try to reassure myself it doesn’t really work & I don’t feel reassured! Maybe the words of strangers will help…?!

my 17 yo DD had a 2 year on/off abusive relationship that has really impacted on her. She acts in risky ways (drinking, sex) at times. She has historically self harmed but hasn’t done it for a few months now.

She has had a counsellor for 2 years now, I don’t know what they discuss but I think DD discloses some information to her. The counsellor has only once raised a safeguarding concern though.

on paper things look like they are improving - been seeing friends (unheard of previously), did really well in Y12 exams & working hard at job. And some of the risky behaviour is normal teenage stuff anyway - drinking too much at parties, vaping etc. The risky sexual behaviour feels more of an outlier to me though and is what I am worrying about more I think.

DD does not confide in me at all really but does talk to friends (& presumably the counsellor), my hostility towards her ex during her relationship with him did a lot of damage to our relationship (although she told her sister that we were right all along she hasn’t said anything to us like that!).

Just want to have faith that it will turn out okay in the end.

OP posts:
ByGreyWriter · 19/08/2025 13:48

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allwillbe · 19/08/2025 19:43

Hi we in same position but two years older now. Same issues. Think it improves but is not a straight upward trajectory. Though I am probably in need of counselling as my worry for her remains high and often feel like I am on high alert for something to go wrong
So difficult -but I do think it improves as there is more maturity as far as actions and consequences

thismummydrinksgin · 19/08/2025 20:00

She’s working hard at her job, done well in her exams and has privately acknowledged that you were right about the boyfriend . Sounds like it will be ok OP, my child had a difficult time at 14/15 and is doing amazingly well now at 18 . Perhaps if they hadn’t had a bad stint earlier on it would be happening now - who knows x

Campingisnexttogodliness · 19/08/2025 20:03

At 15 my dd was self harming. Overdosed twice and had 2 hospital stays. Cahms were no help. Used weed once that I know of as she stole off me to buy it..
She has just had a baby at barely 18 and transformed into a frankly bloody amazing young woman.

Drastic change and unplanned but a welcome and loved addition non the less...
Don't give up on your teenagers. They are absolutely sent to try us.

CanIgetARosePinkFrappucino · 19/08/2025 20:18

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Nails it. People improve if they WANT to improve....

Velvetbee · 19/08/2025 20:19

Yes, mine’s 25 now and absolutely my closest friend and confidant. She was a self hating, self harming, undiagnosed autistic, angry teenager. There is always hope.

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