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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Unreliable friends that come and go.

5 replies

StevieJG · 15/08/2025 19:14

My daughter is 17, hopefully not too old to be discussing here. She is bright, friendly, quite a together girl, loves her music, clothes, seeing friends. Above all she is quite loving and reliable, a good friend to have I would have thought. She doesn't have a huge friendship group, she prefers just a few friends and she has some college mates too. OK, so I'm trying to work out why so many supposedly good friends come and go and seem to be best buds for a while and then are not so reliable. There seems to be a cycle of 'now we are great mates' and then 'now we're not'. Obviously friends come and go in life but for those parents here who remember boys asking girls out, going out with mates and actually having conversations and getting to know someone, learning how to resolve conflicts, managing arguments etc. etc. It all seems to be Snapchat now, girls running other girls down, general gossip, not really talking in depth about anything. My daughter is struggling with all this and asking me why people are so 'snaky' and unreliable. I really feel for her because at her age I was out and about, had girlfriends, went out in a group, had conversations and got to know people. Is she just unlucky or does anyone else recognise what I'm saying. I know the phone is king now and takes so much of their attention but it seems that to have good reliable caring mates that last is a struggle for her at the moment. Hopefully its a phase?

OP posts:
StevieJG · 15/08/2025 19:16

I'm a Dad by the way, not that it make s a difference to the post!

OP posts:
Banannanana · 17/08/2025 13:03

This does seem quite unusual at 17. This type of friendship would be normal for younger teens, but by this age things have usually settled down. Perhaps it will just take her a bit longer to find her tribe. I do think social media doesn’t help these situations though!

BunnyRuddington · 19/08/2025 05:11

Is she quite literally usually? Some people find that they miss a lot of the nuance of communication when it’s through this phone.

Jellymoon1 · 19/08/2025 09:21

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We've removed this thread as the OP had some privacy concerns.

Jellymoon1 · 19/08/2025 09:40

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We've removed this thread as the OP had some privacy concerns.

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