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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

How to help ds 19 when not working?

15 replies

Shipshape1 · 08/08/2025 15:05

Ds is 19, he has a seasonal job from March until November which he really enjoys. He usually goes back to school/ college in September this is the first year he will potentially be at home until March.
Financially he has lots of savings, but I'm worried he will turn into a recluse in his bedroom on YouTube and gaming.
He is neurodiverse, although high functioning he really struggles to make friends, he is fine with work colleagues but it never becomes more. He doesn't actually have any friends. We live rurally and he doesn't drive, although is having lessons.
He will look for full time work but just a bit concerned how he will spend his time. Any tips or ideas?

OP posts:
Roothewheel · 08/08/2025 15:07

He has a few weeks to find a job to tide him over until March

Roothewheel · 08/08/2025 15:07

Gym

ninjahamster · 08/08/2025 15:08

Volunteering?

SoScarletItWas · 08/08/2025 15:08

How about another seasonal job? Do retail / supermarkets still hire seasonal staff for the Christmas peak?

Roothewheel · 08/08/2025 15:11

You need any decorating done that you could pay him?

Snorlaxo · 08/08/2025 15:17

Lots of retailers hire for November/December. You would need to take him to work and back but it can be a good workout instead of the gym.

I have a similar aged son who enjoys physical tasks like cleaning out the garage and gardening. He is good at car maintenance stuff and can deep clean a car better than professional valet people. He’s looking for full time work too- it’s not easy despite living in a place close to warehouses and stuff which I thought would love to hire him.

Shipshape1 · 08/08/2025 15:29

Maybe a seasonal job at Christmas l, I hadn't thought of that. I'm thinking worse case scenario that he can't find any work at all, of course he is looking now but until he passes his driving test he is quite limited.

OP posts:
Roothewheel · 08/08/2025 15:35

He doesn’t have one single friend?

Does he have any plan beyond this seasonal job he has OP? Job? Travelling?

Silverbirchleaf · 08/08/2025 15:36

Does he know how to use Excel? I found an online course for my dc to do. It’s been invaluable for them to do.

Skybluepinky · 08/08/2025 15:37

Get himself a proper job rather than seasonal.

Shipshape1 · 08/08/2025 15:45

@snorlaxo It really isn't so easy to just get a job as some people suggest. But some retail experience around Christmas might be a good idea, thanks

OP posts:
swampwitch0 · 08/08/2025 15:47

Lots of Christmas retail work around usually. Starts recruiting in September generally.
What about volunteering?
Studying online for interest or a qualification?

Inlimboin50s · 08/08/2025 15:55

How about being a kitchen porter( pot washer) in a local pub. My son 17 who has asd has found he is really good at this and he doesn't have to work ' front of house'. He is planning to work there more days now college has finished and he isn't going back. He has just done his motorbike CBT course and has a scooter so he can commute as driving lessons he found a bit tricky. Good luck to your son

Ponderingwindow · 08/08/2025 15:57

How you help him really does depend on his long term plan for transitioning into adulthood. If he is done with school, he needs to be finding employment that can support him fully, not just while subsidized by your household.

If driving is the only barrier to financial independence, you can support him by helping him practice multiple times a week in addition to formal lessons. If there are other barriers like education or training, you need to help him make a plan.

Silverbirchleaf · 08/08/2025 16:00

Charity shops are always looking for volunteers. It’s a good way of getting experience, and having something to put on your cv.

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