How to help DD through her first heartbreak

[CantThinkOfAnotherUsernane]

Hi all
DD is 17 and until last night was in a relationship with a boy the same age. Me and DH liked him until he cheated on her very early on, she forgave him and they moved on now he’s done it again.
DD ended it and has blocked him on all social media and phone etc but she is heartbroken.
Ive hugged her, wiped away her tears and told her she deserves better, she told me she still really likes him but said she’s worth more which she absolutely is.
This is her first experience of heartbreak, we’re very close but I can’t bear to see my little girl hurting.
Any advice?

It’s hellish to see them hurt over their first heartbreak.
Give her private time to mope a bit, but still encouraging all meals together and offering pizza, movie night, whatever she likes to take her mind off it.

Ask her gently about it, and be guided if she wants to talk about it or not.

It will take a few weeks or maybe months, but she’ll bounce back slowly and surely if she has other interests and things to look forward to.

I was slightly older but my first proper break up my older sister took me for breakfast and to get a full head of foils . Nothing beats revenge like being a confident woman ❤️

Nothing new, is it. Tell her to stop believing in romance and see men for what they are. Turning 18 is around the corner. Better that it happened now, not later

Wow. Just wow 😕

It’s a cliche, but time is the key. DD was in a 2 year relationship before uni, completely in love planning their life together etc it didn’t work out when they went to uni (as it often doesn’t) and after they broke up I found out he’d actually been very jealous and controlling. It took her a long time to get over him, even though she knew it was the right thing to split up she was sad for quite a while, all you can do is make sure they know you are there for them and tell them they’ll see it for what it is in time ….
And now, a couple of years down the line she literally cringes at the thought of him. It was definitely a lesson for her, but she’s doing fine now

Jeez!

Thanks all
She had her best friend round for a sleepover last night and seems a bit brighter today.
I told her the only thing that will really heal it is time and in a few years from now she’ll wonder what she ever saw in him

@CantThinkOfAnotherUsernane she absolutely will, in my (or DDs) experience that time in late teens/early twenties when you encounter more guys (DD was at a girls school so literally no comparison) you do realise the one who broke your heart wouldn’t compare anyway ! Hoping she has a good summer and feels better soon x

Let this be a lesson to her that you don’t forgive cheating, cause all you’re doing is giving them the green light to do it again.

Hopefully she’s learnt not to be a doormat again. Harsh lesson to learn, one a lot of people have enough self-worth the first time not to have to learn the hard way, but there we are.

I feel for her, she’s young at the end of the day, but hopefully it won’t happen this way again.

Hope she’s doing better now! Remember those intense feelings still and I’m now 52..

Lots of hugs and bonding activities to ease the pain. Sadly, I dived straight into another relationship with a MUCH older guy which was a disaster. Not to be advised!!

Tell her she's doing brilliantly and you are very proud of her. Tell her that nothing, absolutely nothing hurts as much as your first heartbreak, but the good thing is that nothing will hurt that much again. Next time, she will expect more, forgive a bit less and will know that, however much it hurts, she will survive and go onto do great things and laugh and love again. Now she just has to rely on her friends, her mum, time and chocolate, to get her through the painful days.

Thought I’d come along with an update.
DD is starting her second year in college and seems to be doing much better now. She said although she still misses him sometimes she’s glad she stuck to her guns and finished things.
She’s spent all summer with her friends and is about to start a part time job.
Ive told her I’m proud of her for sticking to her guns and not let him treat her like a mug for a second time.

Good for her!! 🙂