Emotional crash post GCSEs - what's the best thing to do?

[greatfrontage]

DC16 worked very hard (at a highly academic school) for GCSEs and is pretty sure that they went very well. But since the exams she has absolutely crashed, emotionally, getting more and more mournful every day. No history of depression for her or in the family, has some borderline ASD qualities (runs in my side of the family, so I'm quite conscious of it), has loads of friends but everybody is in a different country for the holidays, so has no opportunity to see them again until September (very international school, where everyone goes to their home country for the summer holidays, including us).

She's not bored - we do lots of family stuff every day, go swimming in the sea, play board games, craft, watch movies, lots of time to chill and she gets plenty of rest and as much solo time as wanted (which is very little). Reluctant to text friends, but that's normal - often has to be chivvied to do so. Still very happy to come out to the beach, hiking, physical activity etc.

But the gloom is deepening, and there's only so many hours of the day I can spend consoling her for their lovely life and all the things that are going well. Nothing has happened as such - it seems to be a "sugar" crash from the exams.

Could get some online counselling, but it seems a bit extreme without giving them some more time to relax and rest from the exam period? It's only been a couple of weeks. The school has outstanding pastoral care, and will certainly swing into action in September if needed, so I feel that once we're back in the UK we will have access to lots of support, but also she'll be back with her friends and so on.

School has given lots of assignments ahead of sixth form, but she's not keeping up with them after a good start. I'm not keen to push for that though, as she's clearly knackered.

She's also being incredibly touchy with her siblings which kind of zaps sympathy a bit.

Anyone else grappling with this? It feels like it's probably not unusual?

Yeah. I’ve prescribed getting out the house - looking for a job, work experience and seeing friends, and when all else fails, The Smiths, Adrian Mole and the reassurance that suffering is universal.

Stop chivvying, stop making her do family stuff every day. Respect that she is going through one of the first very significant transition events of her blossoming adult life, and just let her sit quietly with the complex feelings that brings up. Also she's probably physically, emotionally and intellectually exhausted, she needs downtime to relax, recover and rejuvenate after a deeply stressful couple of years.

It's completely normal to feel sad at this time, I saw it in my students every year. She just needs time, space and love to process and "metabolise" these feelings.

I worked 50 hours a week in a care home post GCSEs, it was amazing money and work experience and set me up well for the jump into adulthood that’s on the way. Wish I’d invested the money instead of spending it though 😂

I can remember feeling like this after finishing my own GCSEs. It was a bit like the “wedding blues” all this build up and huge amount of time and effort and I felt a bit lost when it was all done and dusted.

I think not making a big deal about it, reassure her it’s very normal to feel a bit all over the place at times like this and trust that sixth form will provide new focus when term starts again.

Is she anxious for the results?

A paid job will help. As will merting friends if at all possible (my dd is the same - I really have to chivvy her to contact them)

Get a summer job.

My son has a part time job post GCSE’s, but wtf are school playing at, put the assignments in the bin. Aside from anything else, until results day nothing is set in stone for their sixth form choices. They deserve and need an academic break.

All very helpful responses, thank you! Getting a job is not an option, as she doesn't speak the language here well enough yet (we're also very rural!), but I do feel very reassured and will let her guide me more on this.

If anything, I worry that she is too confident. Extremely bright, worked hard, and is pretty sure she got good results, particularly in those she is keeping on for next year. I am more worried than she is, in case they aren't as high as she expects. I wouldn't call her cocksure or anything, just very relaxed about that aspect! I was much more borderline at school, so worried much more.