Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

do you bother nagging them to revise or

14 replies

brimfull · 28/05/2008 16:03

think
well it's your life
you know what you should do?

OP posts:
MarsLady · 28/05/2008 16:05

I told DS1 that he ought to set aside a couple of hourse a day for revision. (He has end of term tests due. His GCSEs are next year... so I'm hoping for good habits).

He's been pretty good and manages about an hour and a quarter (which is better than I thought! I suggested 2 hours knowing that he would shorten it).

MarsLady · 28/05/2008 16:05

hours!

Freckle · 28/05/2008 16:20

DS1 was given some books over the Spring holiday so that he could revise for the SATs. Now, I don't hold with SATs and would not have encouraged him to revise for those, but he has some GCSE exams (he's Y9!) in June so I thought it would be good practice for him to get used to working out a revision programme and sticking to it. Which he did pretty much. Not much nagging on my part at all, just gentle reminders. DS2 though is likely to be a completely different proposition. Sigh.

lazymumofteenagesons · 28/05/2008 16:46

Depends on the child. DS1 currently in the middle of GCSEs, very organised and works a few hours every day completely off his own back, I simply offer support and refreshments.

However, I know when it comes to the next one it will be completely different. I hope he will realise that the better the grades he gets the more oppportunites he will have to do whtaever it is he wants. If I can instill this in him then maybe he will buckle down.

You can't do the work for them even if you stop them going out or watching TV etc. It has to come from within.

brimfull · 28/05/2008 18:03

I caught her telling her friend on the phone today that she'd done bugger all revision....I was livid as that's not the impression she was giving me.

Ah well tis her life.

OP posts:
crkm · 28/05/2008 21:17

dd1 is year 10, she has had some gcse modules already and has more coming up. I feel like i am constantly nagging her to revise!! she shuts herself up in her room and says she is revising. I guess i just have to trust her. i have bought revision guides, and am not allowing her on the computer for more than half an hour a day (as shes always on msn). I feel like i am doing all i can do to encourage her, dont want to pressure too much but then dont want to worry that i've not done enough for her. I keep thinking that i got on with my revision without getting hassled by my parents - so why cant she?

mumeeee · 28/05/2008 23:19

DD316 does quite a bit of her revising on the computer. She uses the SAM learning site and BBc Bitesize.These have really helped her a lot if I ;imited the computer to half an hour she would do a lot less revising. She does also use revision books.
I just remind her about revising and she gets on with it.

PInkyminkyohnooo · 28/05/2008 23:31

I don't have a teenager, but I have had to push my poor DH so hard to get him to finish his MA written work, so I can symapthise. He got so stroppy but it was genuinely the only way he would have finished it - he works really hard and knows his stuff but hates writing essays.

Perhaps you could discuss revision techniques as a roundabout way of finding out if it's getting done? I found breaking information down into keywords, memorising those and then working them back up into essays etc. a good active way of revising. Having someone present the words in a verbal quiz is helpful.

I enjoyed academic work- it was a lot easier for me than coping with the bullying social aspects of school.
I do remember lots of people saying they hadn't done any revision when clearly they had and one boy believing them and he failed horribly in his exams.

ajandjjmum · 29/05/2008 13:16

ggirl - it's just not cool to admit to working to your friends!

hls · 29/05/2008 17:09

How old are they?

It's a fine line- nag too much and they might rebel altogether- don't nag and they will blame you if it all goes wrong.

My 2 are at uni- doing 1st year exams and masters exams this week- it never ends.

I think you need to TALK not nag- nagging is water of a teenager's back.

Better to give constructive advice:

-have you made a revision timetable?
-have you allocated time each day to every subject and worked in some breaks?
-What time do you want to eat tonight- before or after you have revised for a couple of hours/one hour etc.

My son admits now he did not work for his GCSEs at all- he got mainly 10 grade Bs but could have got As with some work.
he did some revision for his As, but not a lot. Got AAB. He only began working in his 2 nd year at uni. he is now EXTREMELY motivated and spends over 12 hours a day revising in the library at uni. it is often a case of maturity.

My daughter has always worked hard and is a perfect student- she has to work hard to pass exams,but has very clear goals - good job/nice flat/nice car- and knows the only way is to work hard.

o answer your question- in my experience nagging doesn't work, but gentle reminders do and a lot of support.

missingtheaction · 03/06/2008 08:30

ime, if they have goals they work, and if they don't they don't. If you nag you can say 'told you so' later on if they do badly but that seems to be the only benefit of nagging. Even if they sit over their books for hours as a result of your nagging it doens't mean they're doing any useful work.

bagsforlife · 03/06/2008 11:00

Agree with hls, my son used to say if I nagged him anymore he wouldn't do any revision at all!!! I just had to stop in the end and he, too, got decentish GCSEs but could/should have got more As etc(I think the euphamism is 'underperformed'!) Also did well at A level with not exactly huge amounts of revision (by most peoples standards), so got his place at University. He has now had first year exams and I think the penny has finally dropped that he does need to do some proper revision. DD is going into 3rd year of university in Sept and can see from the amount of work that current finals' students are doing that you DO have to put the work in or you WILL NOT get a decent degree. I think for boys this is probably the 'crunch' time. But the trouble is if they don't get the GCSEs in the first places they will never get to that stage.....aaargh.

bluesquare · 04/06/2008 13:24

I have an exam coming up on Friday, GCSE and have only revised a little. Towards the exam most teachers give you their lesson to revise in anyway. Normally at home I'll revise for an hour, taking a 20 minute break.
Not saying I am speaking for every teenager but, when anyone nags me it just makes me less inclined to do it.

dippymother · 08/06/2008 17:31

hls - your post has made me feel better. My son is doing A levels at the moment. Did no revision at all for GCSE, also got mostly Bs. A level revision is also a bit sporadic but I'm trying soooo hard not to nag, because then he'll do nothing at all. He wants to go to Uni but that will depend on A level results. I am hoping that if he does get to Uni, the penny will drop....

New posts on this thread. Refresh page