Both teens off the rails

[shizgigz]

I am bunt out through worry and stress over my teens (ds 18, dd17).
both have MH issues and both referred for an ADHD assessment .

DS has drink/drug issues - has risky impulsive behaviour and suicidal thoughts when drunk. He has OD’d twice in the year.

DD is extremely disregulated emotionally, is permanently angry at me and blames the whole world for her issues. She will regularly stay out all night with people older than her and is in the verge of dtooojng out of college. Literally nothing I say or do makes any difference to the way she treats me.

their father is useless and takes no interest in their welfare; it is all in my shoulders. I have organised all medical appointments, counselling, referrals; nothing seems to make a blind but of difference.
i am perilously close to a breakdown myself and am utterly broken.

That’s a hard road you are on, one we could all find ourselves on.. try and manage your own stress.. meditation on you tube/ calm app, walks, sleep, so you can cope the best you can.. please God, it will improve.. others hopefully will have better suggestions than me..

You have my sympathies, OP, especially with the useless father. You're in a very tough situation and what you need is teamwork. I'm guessing asking him to help is about the same as flogging a dead horse?

I'm wondering if you can get any support? Have you spoken to your GP about whether there is any local support groups or services for both you and the teens? At the very least, your GP could refer you to counselling.

What is the college doing to help?

How long til their adhd assessments? The medication should help a lot. I've just started on it myself and it life changing. Although it does take some experimentation to work out the correct medication and dose.

Any chance you might have adhd too? I didn't for a moment think I did until I did the ASRS screener (you can find it free online) . If you have got ADHD yourself it is probably harder to cope, especially without medication.

Is there anything you can do to give yourself a regular break? Even if it is only a few minute with a meditation app or listening to music.

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