Do you set bedtime for your teens?

[Peachhearttree]

At what age do you let them choose her own bed times? And do you let them screens until they want to?

I am happy to let DD14 to choose her bedtime but she has screen time until 10:30pm on the holidays and the wifi also goes off at 10:30pm.

DS has ADHD so needs a long wind down. He's 13 but quite young for his age. 9 pm screens go off (approx) on school nights but he listens to audio books for at least an hour after that.
10.30 for screens seems quite late - is that the same on school nights.

14 year old here has screens off by eight on a school night, nine on the weekend. I do set a bedtime on a school night but it's flexible on a weekend or over the holidays. I'm trying to teach independent thought, and recognising/feeling the consequences of staying up too late. Slow progress!

I don't think I set a bedtime after about 13 years old. Luckily mine were sensible and always asleep by 11 on school nights and probably midnight on weekends.

Thanks. Just on the holidays. It used to be 8:30pm on school days. DD will be starting year 10 in September and will be 15 in a few months.

Thanks all. It is a tricky one between giving them independence/autonomy and setting some boundaries.

Sounds reasonable OP

My 13 year old complains that we are very harsh because during the holihe wants to game until 1am or...whenever ! And I wont let him !

I have let him.game til 11 occasionally and he still moans im too strict.

Im not sure about the value of autonomy over sleep as teens will make poor decisions and they need sleep to grow and develop healthily

My bedtime I set would be screens off about 10 in the holiday but...yep 13 year old moans about that too

Nope. One goes to bed at a normal time ie around 11, the other is a pain and stays up till 2am. He’ll grow out of it when he gets a job/ does HE.

The rule here is that they don’t make noise of any sort after 11 and I will not be creeping round downstairs to enable lie ins after about 10am. Luckily we have a very noisy dog who acts as a natural if really annoying alarm clock.

Agree. I think they are still developing and need rules reg screen time in particular due to the addiction it creates.

I read somewhere that everyone should go to bed before midnight.

I don’t, but only because they recognise they need their sleep. There is no way I’d be letting a pre-GCSE teenager stay up on screens past 11.

DS (14) chooses to take himself to bed about 8:30 to read a bit. DD is battle, but try to have lights out by 9:30 (it often slips) on school nights. No screens in bedrooms.

My bedtime was 9:30pm until I was 15/16! I didn’t even need to get up early (7:30-8) so must have got loads of sleep.

I’ve never set a bedtime once secondary school age. The agreement was always go to bed when you’re tired, get up by yourself with no fuss in the morning ( or whenever if weekend). They were always in bed around 9-10 and were always up and ready for school on time. I think it does children a service to allow them to be in control of this aspect of life and hopefully any partners in the future won’t be on here complaining about their useless partner who falls asleep on sofa every night then can’t wake up without a big fuss in the morning.