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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teen left home to live at boyfriends

4 replies

MumofTwo31 · 27/07/2025 18:58

Has anyone else gone through this or going through it now , my DS has gone to her bfs it’s heartbreaking not having her here at home and miss her so much. She’s only 17, what’s lead up to it is she has done a year at college then her dad in April, who’s barely been in her life and is not a good person to put it nicely as I can ,has got her a job working with him cleaning which is what has started all this trouble, whilst I wanted her to have a part time job and had been helping trying to get her a job for months , she now has a taste of having money and independence and dropped college even after getting high grades in everything but as her bfs house is close to where she works she’s been spending more and more time there as she’s been working more and more and just recently said she’s moving there permanently, we’ve always had such a close bond and she’s always felt she can talk to me about anything so this has hit me so hard and I miss her so so much . She knows I’m against her working with her dad cos of what he’s done in the past so that’s pushed her away too and I didn’t realise at the time I was pushing her away but I just want to talk to anyone who’s gone thru this having their teen move in with a bf or gf and how you cope

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Hatty65 · 27/07/2025 19:01

Is her bf renting? Or does he live with parents?

Because if he lives with his parents I assume that at some point they will not want to financially support someone else's 17 year old and she'll need to come home.

I would, either way, say cheerfully 'Ok. Well you know where I am if you need anything or you want to come home' and leave her to it. Arguing won't make any difference. Keep the door open.

MumofTwo31 · 27/07/2025 21:06

yes he lives with his mum , I’m guessing she’s planning on paying board at some point to contribute towards her being there .
thank you il just keep things good between us and let her know I’m always here . I’m just finding it really hard to cope with as we spent so much time together then its happened so quick and she’s gone

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Hatty65 · 28/07/2025 17:17

@MumofTwo31 We had this with 18 yo DS who ended up living at his gfs house. I missed him a lot but took the 'cheerful' line and after about 9 months together they split up and he came home.

To be honest, I think sharing a bedroom/living on top of someone at that age in a parental home is a lot of pressure on a relationship. It didn't surprise me that they ended up arguing and splitting up and he is now 20 and back home.

I think the same thing will probably happen with your DD if you just play it cool. Few of us end up with our teenage boyfriends!

MumofTwo31 · 28/07/2025 22:45

thank you , yes it must be a lot of pressure at that age they’ve been living in each others pockets going to and from our houses but mainly at his as he has a big room and double bed ita worrying she may split up with him and be heart broken but at the same time yes that’d mean she’d come home . My son was taken away from me by having his mind brainwashed and poisoned against me at just 14 by their dad and the woman he’s with , he moved in with them which was hell knowing the influence they had on him at such a young age and I was helpless , he did come back home again at 17 as he’d realised the hard way what kind of people they are , this is why this with my daughter is even harder it’s triggered all those bad memories what happened with him and I’m scared they’ll try the same with her even more so now she’s not living with me

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