My son is about to turn 16, and for the last 18 months his dad has told him that as soon as he turns 16 he can do whatever he wants in terms of living with either of us.
his dad has never done any of the ‘boring’ parent jobs, doesn’t enforce rules, take him to appointments, nag him to do homework or brush his teeth etc.
My son is a people pleaser and I'm terrified that as soon as he hits 16 all the brainwashing his dad has done over the last 18 months will rub off on him and he’s going to want to move in with his dad.
Me and my son have a wonderful relationship, he’s super affectionate with me, we have a shared hobby, but his dad is dangling this shiny carrot of being able to do whatever he wants without the boring stuff and I’m scared he’s going to take him up on the offer and then go to his dads and waste away. His dad wasn’t a motivated teenager, never really made anything of himself, has an alright ish job now but took him until late 30s. obviously I want more than that for my son but his dad thinks that school doesn’t matter because ‘he did rubbish in school and is alright now’.
His dad has manipulated me over the years, all he ever does is take from me and there’s no flexibility if I ask for it but I’m expected to bend to his every requirement, for example he’s just gone out and changed his job every few years and then just told me that he can’t have my son xyz days anymore because of his new job and I’m just expected to change my entire routine. I’ve obviously tailored my work around childcare like most parents do so I missed out on lots of opportunities to do better for myself while he was out doing whatever he wanted
I don’t know what the point of this really is but just needed to get it off my chest I guess