My 19 year old told me 2 weeks ago that she is pregnant, just before she went on holiday for 2 weeks with her dad. She’s been with her boyfriend (he’s 22) for 6 months he lives 25 miles away, doesn’t drive, has health issues, job is bit of this bit of that but he is starting a full time job in September. We live in a tiny house, she is in the smallest room, I work from home full time in a demanding job. She has a part time job and is starting a new job next week.
I will support her no matter what, she is my world. However I am struggling with this so much. She is about 13 weeks now. I don’t think she wants to have a baby but is scared to have an abortion so has been burying her head in the sand. It would have been so much easier if she had talked to me earlier, before we know it the decision will be taken out of their hands.
They keep bickering about what to do. He wants to keep it I think although he is not saying that out loud and is saying he is ok with what she decides. I think that even if you take the issues with the practicalities of it all out of the they are nowhere near ready. She is mature but stresses easily. When she gets back from holiday we are going to talk properly. If she goes ahead I will have to give up my room. There is no way he could move in with us do during the week she will be stuck in one room all day unless she goes out so that I can work. How can I work under those circumstances? They can’t afford to rent anywhere. She wouldn’t move in with his parents she would want to be near me. I am keeping my mouth shut other than saying I support them which I will regardless but I am against them having this baby. I raised my child I have been a single parent for 10 years and it is so hard, I thought things were just starting to get easier for me now she’s grown and now this. I know I probably sound so selfish but a baby would change my life significantly.
I am not anti abortion at all I am pro choice but the further along she gets the more upset I get at the thought of it and I worry I won’t be able to support her enough if she takes this route. I feel that if this was a possibility earlier would have been better.
She is taking vitamins and went to see the midwife just in case they do go ahead. She has a scan booked in a few days. I’m worried that if she goes to the scan she will feel obligated to go ahead once she sees it even if it’s not what she wants. If she does then that would be fine but she doesn’t know. I’m lost as to how to help. I know this has been a lot of info, any advice please?