Teens on all inclusive hol advice please!

[hottubsundays]

At the end of the summer hols we are off to Greece for a family holiday so the same place we went 3 years ago. In general it felt very friendly and safe with lifeguards at the main pools. My girls will be 12 and 14 (2 weeks off being 15) and I’d like to let them have a bit more independence. They wouldn’t go to a holiday club or anything like that but would it be reasonable for me and my husband to go to the on site spa for a couple of hours and leave them at the pool? We have a swim up room too but obvs no lifeguard so wouldn’t take that option. They are both good swimmers and responsible but there’s something weird in my head about it feeling wrong but im not sure if I am over thinking it perhaps the Madeline McCann kidnapping will never leave my mind even though my babies are the same height if not taller than me 🤦🏽‍♀️

15?! You need to start letting them go, including the 12yo. What’s the unaccompanied pool age - usually 7/8?.

DTs turned 13 when we were away last year, they used to walk down to the shops —waste money on crap jewellery—. I can imagine keeping them cooped up.

do they go out without you at home?

I must be a monster but I wouldn’t give this a second thought. The oldest is practically 15 unless there are SN why would you be concerned leaving her in a hotel?

If they are both good swimmers and there is no SN then yes this is absolutely fine.

in the U.K. most children start making their own way to school at age 11 and go swimming with groups of friends at a similar age.

we did AI when ours were age 10 onwards precisely because they could have some freedom within the hotel and get own drinks/go swimming etc.

Yes of course, they go into town and meet friends etc I don’t lock them up 🤣 there’s just something weird about leaving them at a pool in a foreign country. The younger one has adhd but is on medication so I am not concerned about that. I wouldn’t be concerned in the UK where they know where they’re going etc, I’m probably overthinking what could happen. The 12 year old with adhd is probably more capable than the 15 year old tbh 🤣

I'm with you on this OP! I have DS15 and DD13, I would be struggling the exact same way you are, simply because it's a different country.
Maybe try it and see how you feel, I have often found that it feels worse in my head than it does in reality x

You're staying in an all inclusive resort.

They won't be kidnapped from the pool in front of 100 other families.

I can’t believe you even have to ask this question!
what do you think will happen to them if you’re a few hundred yards away?

I'm going against the grain and saying no i wouldn't do this. I have a ds who is 15 and wont be leaving him when we're away in the summer. Obviously he goes out on his own with friends at home but it just feels different abroad, especially with the pool etc.

That's absolutely crazy @Blondebrownorred.
You are denying your DS an importantly change to gain independence and maturity.

In the nicest possible way, you need to get help with your anxiety as it is impacting on your DS's ability to live a normal life.

Unless you are holidaying in Ukraine, your DS is at far more risk here.

The mind boggles. You won’t let a 15 year old by a pool by himself or wander around an all inclusive resort. That’s ridiculous.

Ha , he lives a normal life. I said he goes out with friends at home (although not often as we're very rural).
Its just on holiday in a foreign country feels wrong to leave him alone. I don't think I'd want to be alone either. His friends are all treated similar.

AI? You hardly know you are in a different country! It’s sad when dc cannot look after themselves without supervision in a AI hotel.

Mine took flights without us from 13. Turned into capable adults. They didn’t get kidnapped on the plane.

Hmmmm.

My oldest is 11.

Don't think she would want to be alone at a resort. Just yet.

Also she prob wouldn't want to at alone.
Her sister is 7. So not sure if I'd be happy letting them wander around alone at that age.

Maybe if the youngest was older then I'd be happier.

Also they don't have phones yet so if I needed to meet up with them wouldn't know where they were.

15 & 12 is perfectly fine to be left alone as long as they are clear on the fact they can’t leave the resort.

@Blondebrownorred

It feels wrong because you are thinking about it very anxiously.

An AI resort is far safer than the average UK town centre.

I’m yet to meet a 15 year old who isn’t allowed to wander round a resort while their parent is in another part of the resort

Absolutely. You need to tell them to stick together and not wander outside the resort, and let them know where they can find you in an emergency. Then crack on.

Absolutely fine OP.

In a years time she could be collecting her GCSE results and heading off to Reading or Leeds with her mates.

we need to prepare our DCs for the real world.

We did all inclusive last year my son was 12 and he was fine doing this sort of thing. He made friends and we barely saw him.