My 16yr old grandson seems a bit 'lost'. He has just finished his GCSEs and is due to start college in September. He was very happy in school, his safe place having come through a pretty chaotic period in his short life - starting with an 'absent mother', then choosing to live with his dad (my son) aged 8 which meant I became his 'mum' and we are very close. His parents acrimoniously separated when he was 2 (things have got marginally better over time) His dad has always been very very present in his life Then my sons business got into difficulty resulting in him having a breakdown, drinking too much etc. He is currently in a programme that has really helped him. it has left my grandson with trust issues though. I should also mention my son has remarried (that also not without drama) but my grandson has a lovely relationship with his step-mum and brother and sister, they all live together.
My grandson has been right in the middle of all this but wanted to stay with dad (we were there for day to day support) He now has a 'relationship' with his mum, driven by us, but he knows her limitations. He just seems a bit lost ('rabbit in headlights) he does talk to us and his dad but my son has become very cynical, even bitter since his recent troubles and I feel the negativity is affecting my grandson. Typically he hasn't a clue what he wants to do, I've told him not many 16yrs olds do - he questioning whether he needs to go to college, I am saying he needs to use the time to think about what excites him, get some 'extra' qualifications so he is at least competing on a level playing field. I've also suggested he plays to his strengths and not be herded into a job/career he doesnt really want. Am I giving his the right advice? I would add he has good role models in his life - my daughter runs her own business, and my younger son is in a really good job that he loves and he is close to them - maybe I am putting too much pressure on myself?