Mums of teenage girls: Please give me your tips re difficulties in tween years

[JustSurvivingOnlyJust]

DD (11) is having a bit of a rough time at the moment. She hasn't found her "tribe" yet as she's (of course) still figuring out for herself her likes/dislikes, interests, etc. Her old friends from school and team sport are all over the place themselves so they're all close one minute and the next it's all over. DD suffers quietly a lot from all the back and forth and uncertainty of it all. I try to be there for her and support her but feel sometimes a bit useless as I can't really help her.
So my questions to those of you having gone through this are:
What do you think has helped your daughter overcoming these difficulties?
How did you as parent overcome the feelings of grudge towards children that have been unkind to your DD? (I reeaaally struggle!)

What do you think has helped your daughter overcoming these difficulties?
Time mostly. And in the moment wondering with her why her mate is acting in the way she is right now. Is the friend insecure and putting on a front? Is she jealous and trying to spoil something for another person? Is she anxious, and so focused inward that she's not able to empathise with others?
But you can't fix any of this for her, don't get too involved or invested. Be a listening ear and a cheer leader mostly

How did you as parent overcome the feelings of grudge towards children that have been unkind to your DD?
Understand that your DD is no angel and is just as much of a terror from time to time as her friends are. No one is good and kind all the time. The stories you hear are your daughter's interpretation of events. Her friends stories will have a different spin. What might the parents of those girls think of your daughter? The truth lies somewhere in the middle.

@TomatoWildFlowers Thank you for your thoughts on this, good points re overcoming difficulties.
I'm fully aware that DD is no angel and has herself caused upset. Re-reading my post, I didn't make it at all clear that the feelings of grudge are towards a handful of her on-and-off friends that have been openly unkind to her with me witnessing their behaviour. It wasn't bad enough for me to step in (not bullying-type behaviour) but unkind enough to see why DD is so upset sometimes. I just need to find ways to boost her resilience more and figure out how to not get too emotional about it all myself... not easy during my perimenopausal rollercoaster 😆

Im going through this aswell with my daughter. I have found hobbies are key and a better place to make friends with shared interests. It's tough though when you feel a bit helpless.

Placemarking