Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Very mild & very occasional sleep wetting at 14

12 replies

MaryStP · 10/07/2025 22:56

First time poster, so please be gentle.

My son is 14 and I am getting a bit worried about him. He potty trained fine at normal age (I think he was about 2 and a half, feels like a lifetime ago now), basically night and day. No significant issues.

But throughout his childhood he has had very occasional and very mild bedwetting accidents. When I say very occasional, I mean, perhaps once every few months - maybe 3, 4, 5 times a year, so barely 1% of the time. And when I say mild, I mean, enough just to get his pyjamas a bit damp and leave a small patch on his bedsheet. We're not talking about significant amount of liquid.

I have over the years chalked this down to him being a deep sleeper and, given that it's so infrequent and he is quite easily upset / embarrassed, I have never raised it with him and always just reassured myself that he will grow out of it. He has never mentioned it happening or seemed upset by it, even when he was very young (like starting school age). I would only notice when making his bed and of course whenever there was a small patch on the sheet from time to time, I would find the corresponding issue on his pyjamas. From the odour there is no doubt that it's pee, but it's a really small amount.

The issue seems more likely to arise when he's either very tired or we're in a strange environment, like on holidays.

Anyway, he is now 14 and very much a young man (I have to ask him to reach for things on high shelves in supermarkets!) but the issue is still not showing any sigs of going away. Last weekend I overslept when we needed to be out very early, and raced in to get the kids up. He was in a deep sleep, I practically pulled him out of bed as we were running late. As I did, it was obvious that his shorts were damp - not wet, but what I would describe as clammy. Obviously he is at the age where wet dreams are also a thing, but this was a large enough damp area on his shorts to not be that, sort of covering his thigh on the side he was sleeping. I didn't say anything about it (too busy trying to get him moving!) but I think he was immediately aware of it and trying to hide it from me a bit. When I checked later, he'd put the offending shorts deep into his washing basket, and it was clear that it was pee.

I have done a reasonable amount of research on teenage bedwetting and see stats around 1-2%, so I know it happens. But I am unsure how common it is and how seriously I should take it. For example, I don't know if that 1-2% includes teenagers with disabilities, which may make it much rarer in a healthy boy his age. And I don't know if that 1-2% figure is for kids who wet a lot and need pullups at 14, and whether the number who have occasional and very small sleep accidents is actually much higher than that recorded, making it much more common. Since pre-school years he has never had a heavy bedwetting incident and never wet himself in the daytime.

I am reluctant to take him to the doctors because in a practical sense it's not a big deal to our lives, being so infrequent and mild, and his self-esteem is fragile. But I am also concerned as to how common this is, and he's at that age where he's still my little boy but he's also less than 3 years from driving.

Any thoughts appreciated!

Thanks

OP posts:
KnickerlessParsons · 10/07/2025 22:59

Are you absolutely sure it’s wee? 🙂

MaryStP · 10/07/2025 23:06

KnickerlessParsons · 10/07/2025 22:59

Are you absolutely sure it’s wee? 🙂

Yes, absolutely certain. Colour, odour etc, plus this has been going on before he reached puberty. He has the other things happen as well, but without being too graphic the two are quite easy to differentiate! Both the smell and the amount of wetness.

OP posts:
MaxineHarper · 11/07/2025 05:40

You need to talk yo him about it he’s clearly embarrassed, tell him you’ll find a solution. I’d try an alarm, look at the ERIC website.

verycloakanddaggers · 11/07/2025 05:45

I am reluctant to take him to the doctors This is not ok. He has an issue, your job is to help him access appropriate help.

Start with the ERIC website but stop ignoring this.

MaxineHarper · 11/07/2025 06:26

verycloakanddaggers · 11/07/2025 05:45

I am reluctant to take him to the doctors This is not ok. He has an issue, your job is to help him access appropriate help.

Start with the ERIC website but stop ignoring this.

agreed. I feel very sorry for him feeling all alone with this problem, him being too embarrassed to tell you…but you’ve known all along. You need to help him.

MaryStP · 11/07/2025 10:23

Thanks for your replies. It's so infrequent and minor when it happens that I just didn't want to embarrass him by having to explain it in front of a doctor but I think from this it's something I should start looking at.

Thank you

OP posts:
rainbowsparkle28 · 11/07/2025 10:25

MaryStP · 11/07/2025 10:23

Thanks for your replies. It's so infrequent and minor when it happens that I just didn't want to embarrass him by having to explain it in front of a doctor but I think from this it's something I should start looking at.

Thank you

It will be more embarrassing becoming a young adult getting older with it not resolved because you are burying your head in the sand than going now and getting it addressed. Get him seen by a doctor.

MaryStP · 11/07/2025 10:34

Thank you. Maybe I have been putting my head in the sand.

To be honest, it's so minor when it happens and so infrequent that I haven't ever really thought of it as bedwetting in the normal sense (like needing to change the bed in the middle of the night etc). More like little leaking.

So I think in my own mind, seeing it as a little issue rather than actual bedwetting, I've perhaps suppressed how serious it should be taken. I kinda thought it might be quite normal if I am honest. Maybe not normal, but not all that rare either and it would stop on its own.

OP posts:
JessicaTookMyLunch · 11/07/2025 10:46

The brilliant Eric website has lots of advice so I would start there. They also have a free helpline to call. I think the Eric website stats will help him feel less alone in this too as there is a teenage section.

MaryStP · 11/07/2025 10:48

Thank you. I'm not planning on raising it with him unless I really have to, but I will think very seriously about the Drs. He will be mortified at seeing someone about it.

OP posts:
sunshinechaser · 11/07/2025 11:08

he might surprise you be happy you brought it up. I would definitely look on the ERIC website and speak to one of their advisors if this is an option. My DS took desmopressin wafers just before bed which completely stopped the problem but it sounds as if your DS’s issue is probably too mild for meds.

MaryStP · 11/07/2025 13:34

Thanks, I have realised that probably this is not as "normal" as I had assumed it to be. And that assumption came only from how small the accidents are and how infrequent they are, just a quick change and it's all fixed. I wouldn't have even said he was a "bed wetter", just that he leaks a bit in his sleep from time to time. It has never, for example, stopped him going on sleepovers. But its clear from this (and the private messages - thanks) that it probably does require attention. I've certainly grown a lot more concerned that he won't just grow out of it (hence the post). Thanks all.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread