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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Snapchat is making my teen unhappy

33 replies

Snapchatremoval · 07/07/2025 22:58

I am not an expert on snapchat but I believe post stories there; My teen has been very down a few times; saying they don’t have any friends, they don’t get invited to things.

They do have a few nice friends. I know I need to tell my teen to not believe in everything social media tells you as it makes you think everyone is having more fun, going to parties, having boyfriends, girlfriends, etc.

Will I be unreasonable to restrict snapchat?

OP posts:
Original poster
Snapchatremoval · 09/07/2025 16:48

NewbieYou · 09/07/2025 13:37

Why does your child have it? It came out when I was a teen and I’m 30! It’s for nudes and abuse.

Because I didn’t realise how dangerous it was and because this is how they mainly communicate with friends sadly.

OP posts:
Girliefriendlikespuppies · 06/10/2025 21:46

No Snapchat, instagram or any social media until they’re 16 at least 🤷‍♀️

Dd moaned but I’m glad I stuck to my guns.

Marasme · 06/10/2025 21:46

PothasProblem · 08/07/2025 14:39

Since the social media genie is well and truly out of the bottle by the teen years I think that it's cruel to prevent teens from using it. It ostracises them from their peers. Your teen is still going to be aware of other teens doing stuff they're not invited to even without seeing snaps of it.

I think lots of conversations about social media being a highlights real of people's lives. Go looking for examples of influences where they show the real behind the scenes set up and work they put into it. There are families of youtubers my kids used to watch years ago all having apparently amazing times, where the kids, now older teens and young adults, are now talking about how their real lives looked and felt behind the fake highlight real.

Also give them more of a push to get out and have fun with the friends they do have.

In terms of safety - use it yourself for a week or two and find out. That's my best advice! And lots of open and frank conversations about interacting with strangers online, keeping communication on the platform it started on eg not going to WhatsApp with someone from robblox, not sharing personal information including in backgrounds of photos, doxing, being sent unwanted images etc...

But one practical piece of advice for Snapchat is to turn ghost mode on, so it doesn't share your location.

But I think that the best way to keep kids safe is to know that they will come across awful stuff online and make sure that when they do, they know that they can tell us anything without us getting upset or angry. It's not only the content that's harmful, it's more that the teen feels like they're dealing with their response to it alone because of guilt/shame/embarrassment/fear. That's the bit parents can help with most

it s only out of the bottle if you let it.
Neither my 16 or 13 yo DDs are on it. One does not care, the other nags, but knows why i say no.

it s called parenting... i m the adult, i know what s bad for them. Snapshat is the same for me as underage drinking. Zero benefit, only harm.

PothasProblem · 06/10/2025 22:32

Marasme · 06/10/2025 21:46

it s only out of the bottle if you let it.
Neither my 16 or 13 yo DDs are on it. One does not care, the other nags, but knows why i say no.

it s called parenting... i m the adult, i know what s bad for them. Snapshat is the same for me as underage drinking. Zero benefit, only harm.

Show quote history

Teenagers don't live in a vacuum though. Parents aren't in control of societies magic bottles (be that booze or Snapchat). If I can ask you some questions... When will your teens begin to know what is best for them? Which day will they be allowed to download their social media app of choice? On that day will they be all knowledgeable? Mature? Sensible? Would they not have been the day before? Will you still be able to control them until this line in the sand? Will they allow you to guide them with your values at that point?

I would argue that parenting is about nurturing, supporting, moulding and educating our children to be independent, responsible and capable. It's harder to do that if you prevent them from accessing anything risky or potentially dangerous

Marasme · 07/10/2025 13:52

The day they pay for their phone, and contract, they will be free to decide. Until that day, i ll choose to parent as I do and take these decisions.

Similarly, I do not condone parents offering alcohol to teens "because it s safer in the home" - alcohol is never safe for developing brains. The same goes for addictive tech.

Don t mistake saying "no" with molly codling or removing critical thinking - they are very much encouraged to reflect why, as a parent, this is my decision.

allwillbe · 07/10/2025 16:25

Honestly it’s such a toxic app, and so many teens suffer with it. I certainly know if it had been around when i was a teen it would have destroyed my self esteem as you can see when you haven’t been invited out. i also sadly know from experience that it is an app where your teen can buy an drugs they want within about 30 mins. So many parents do not know that this is one of the things that happens on that app- we certainly did not

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