My daughter is 14 and she has always been a big eater and has loved her food but the last few months, she has been losing a lot of weight and we have been noticing she has been getting worse with eating. Always trying to find an excuse why she shouldn't be eating something. Won't have breakfast, leaving most of her food in her lunchbox. She has started lying about what she is eating at lunch too. Dinners can be better but she has recently started leaving some of it or says she just wants to eat a salad (literally cucumber, lettuce and tomato). Every day is becoming a battle. Arguments and tears. I have tried talking to her and she has opened up a little recently and said that she doesnt have a problem but she is just worried about putting on weight and she doesnt like food anymore (obviously there is a problem but she doesnt see this). Her periods have been irregular since she started them (before there was any issues with food) but we were told this in pretty normal in the first few years of starting a period. Since her eating has got bad, this is the longest she hasnt had a period for...125 days. Me and her dad (who aren't together) both have a Dr's appointment with her today to discuss her eating etc.
Me and her dad don't see eye to eye about anything but I am going to try and put this to the side so we can focus on getting her the help she needs but I am worried there will be disagreements at the drs because he believes I am not making her eat and that because he is, he is the one that cares.
I don't agree with how he is handling the situation. She was at his this weekend and as soon as she came through the door, he demanded she went on my scales to do a weigh in. He was confused as he said he had forced her to eat all weekend but she had still lost weight. Obviously he doesnt force feed her but as soon as she got there, he took all her makeup and her phone and put them in the loft (she likes to communicate with me and her friends when shes there so this made her very down) and said she wont be getting them back until she eats properly. He said everyday has taken 3 hours to get her to eat substantial meals. He has also been making comments to her " you are going to die" " you will have to be fed by a tube if you continue". She also asked him when she could have her makeup back and he said " when your in a coffin" and then laughed. I think all of this is disgusting and I want to mention this at the drs today but my current partner thinks it will just cause a massive blow up and that we should just focus on her and not point score but I am worried he is going to make her worse in the long run. Yes he got her to eat but its made her very miserable and she now keeps saying she doesnt want to go to his. I tried to collect her earlier yesterday but he wouldnt let me as he said she needed to stay for dinner so he could make sure she eats.
He doesn't agree that I am letting her have her phone etc and just because im not shouting at her and causing her to cry, he believes I am encouraging her not to eat.
He said himself shes been crying while hes been trying to get her to eat.
I say to her she can have any meal she wants and I will go and get whatever it is but she refuses this and gets very angry.
At home I always try to encourage her to eat but I am not going to bully her into eating when she clearly has a problem. I'm the only person she has semi opened up to and I want to support her, not push her away further. I have recently got her some vitamins and she was even worrying about those putting weight on.
Also her dad said its been taking him 3 hours each day on the weekends to get her to eat..it baffles me how he thinks I am going to be able to do that when I work full time and also have a 3 year old that I have to get ready for nursery each morning etc. I make her breakfast but she wont touch it and gets mad and tells me she told me she doesnt want it.
Has anyone got any advice regarding tips to try and get her to eat more and what to do about her dad? Also do you think I should mention how hes being to the dr while we are there today?