DSD Touched by boy in School....

[Boymummy2015]

Hi All

My 14 yo DSD told me last night that there had been an incident in School yesterday involving another boy in her School year.

She has told me that he began touching her leg & making inappropriate comments, she has told him to stop twice and he persisted, she then removed his hand from her leg and again told him not to touch her, which this the boy has told her he will will "do what I want your community property" the incident was witnessed by another boy in her year and the boy involved has then proceeded to "brag" about it to other boys in the year and tell them in my SD's vicinity that he will do it again there's nothing she can do!

Needless to say myself and my DH are fuming and disgusted by what has happened. SD seems to be ok but she did seem a little shaken when she told me last night.

I have taken her to School today and been in and spoke at length with the head of year and my SD has now provided a statement, the boy involved (I believe) has been placed into isolation for the day and the other boys who were aware of the incident have also given statements......

We are upset, angry and quite disturbed by the incident and the comments which the boy has made in order to "justify" his actions are imo quite disturbing and we don't feel this is just a case of a young boy maybe having a little crush on my SD or trying to look "cool" infront of his friends.The comments he has said to us indicate a general outlook and opinion that he has control over women or his "community" do and as such can do what he wants regardless of how it makes women/girls feel...... with this in mind my husband wants to report it to the Police as a Sexual assault and take this matter further in order to ensure the boy is dealt with. I haven't told the School this at the minute as my husband mentioned this after I had been in to School this morning and I had left it for them to conduct their investigation as they are doing.

As a bit of a back story my SD has had an unsteady upbringing when at her mums and no longer has any contact but due to the environment at her mums she did get cut off from us for a few months a couple of years ago and wasn't attending School... we have since got full care and moved Schools to our local area 18 months ago & she has really settled in well and the last 9-10 months we have seen her really flourish again and come out of her shell to be the beautiful, confident and fun loving teenager she should be so we are a little concerned that this could potentially set her back.

Any opinions/thoughts on this and how best to deal with it moving forward are welcome.

Report it to the police. My DD witnessed a similar incident and her school tried to brush it under the carpet. It was only when police got involved that they actually did anything

What does your stepdaughter want to do? Reporting to the police should be her decision. Whilst it's certainly the right course of action, only do it if it's what she wants, as she might not want to discuss it with a stranger.

If it was an inappropriate touch on the leg, with your DSD telling him to fuxk off, I wouldn't have any worries.

I'm more concerned with the "community property" and him literally stating he will do it again.

Yeah, this needs to be reported to the police before this kid decides that sex is what he wants Instead. He clearly has issues, imagine a grown man doing that.

I'm more concerned with the "community property" and him literally stating he will do it again.

This is what I'm more concerned about tbh.

I would report it to the police and expect at the very least that they would pay him a visit and impress upon him the seriousness of sexual assault. It might make his parents sit up and take notice as well, particularly in terms of the toxic shit their son is consuming online. The only way this changes is if we all report this stuff, every single time.

As PP have said, how does your DSD feel about this? Is she going to be ok with sitting in a police station, telling strangers everything, answering the questions, re-reading a written statement and checking it carefully for accuracy and having to sign it? And then maybe having to be questioned again by the police, possibly aggressively, after they have spoke to him (if they do)? Because it’s not you or her dad reporting it, it’s her.

While on a society level I think it’s appalling if men get away with things because women are too intimidated to report, in your position I’d be most worried about the emotional impact on your DSD of going through that process. Telling trusted teachers at school is one thing, fronting up to a police station is something altogether different. And you don’t want her to feel she can’t tell you these things in the future because she’ll then be put through something that’s more full-on than she wanted.

Report to police definitely