Tall 14 year old - how to correct bad posture?

[resipsa]

My DD is 5’11’’. She HATES bring tall despite our saying how much she will love it when she is older. She’s 14, Yr 9 and is constantly teased about it, often being called a man or transgender just because she’s taller than most of her peers still. As a result, she’s developed a slouch as she tends to bend down to try to hide her height. Her shoulders are now permanently rounded unless she is reminded to stand up straight and her abdomen sticks out as a result. How can I encourage her to stand tall without sounding like I’m criticising her? She’s sensitive about the topic for obvious reasons and every time I try a way to get the message across positively, she feels attacked. Help!

I go to Pilates regularly and good posture is really emphasised - it's better for your shoulders - one of the classes I used to go to a mum brought her daughter (who was a dancer so was doing it for strength and flexibility).
I would highly recommend something like that to do together.

I agree with the poster above - a joint class of pilates would be great. Until recently I did the same with my DD, as we're both v tall and hypermobile, so are having fun with joints etc. The other thing I would encourage is gym, which could also be a thing to do together and you could start together with a PT session for instance.

As you say, she's only 14 and will hopefully grow in confidence to meet the height, but if it makes any difference, I'm her height and absolutely love being able to look down on many men!

Thanks both. That’s a good idea especially as it’s an ‘in’ thing to do at the moment. Now I just have to motivate myself first!

Hey, I can really sympathise with your daughter, especially if people are teasing her about her height. It's true that it'll be amazing when she's older, but the future can feel really far away when you're that age! For now, I think the best thing to do is to promote a healthy relationship with her body and to boost her self-esteem (definitely easier said than done), but there are a few things that can really help. When my DD was struggling a lot with her body image, I read this article from this company who have created a health &wellbeing app for teen girls (lots of really good stuff on the app about confidence/friendships/female health etc.) that I found very helpful: https://weareluna.app/parents/guides/body-image-and-positivity/body-image-tips-for-parents/

And are there any local sports teams which have a lot of tall girls? basketball etc?

constantly teased about it, often being called a man or transgender

This is bullying so speak to the school about how they manage bullying.

Yes, I agree and this is under active investigation but I need to take some pro-active steps too.

Don’t tell her she will love it when she’s older because she might not. I’m 5ft 8 and still don’t like it.

I was 5ft11 at the same age (I'm 50 now) and I completely empathise with your daughter. I was embarrassed about my height, I was teased and called names mostly by boys, and I had to bend down to hear my friends talking, to be part of the conversation, to belong, which is all you want as a 14 year old. It wasn't intentional, but it happened. My parents used to tell me I was slouching, which only made me feel more self conscious. When I started going out, some men seemed really offended by a woman taller than them, as if I was doing it intentionally to spite them. I got used to ignoring comments. Been very happily married for 26 years to a man slightly shorter than me, who has always admired my height and made me feel beautiful.
I grew into my height in my late teens/early 20s and began to love and appreciate it, and I'm totally happy in my skin and my tall, strong body now I'm older. But those early years were tricky. I'd just keep reinforcing how great your daughter looks, don't focus on any slouching, she'll likely grow out of it soon enough and won't thank you for pointing it out. Help her find clothes for her proportions that make her feel great.
Pilates, swimming and yoga are great for core and posture, and weights for strength might help her feel powerful and more in tune with her body.

Basketball is good for tall people.

@MargaritaPracticallyCan Thank you for that insight, really helpful.