DS Body image issues

YourGoldGoose · 2025-06-30T12:41:17+00:00

I don’t know if this is the right place to post if not please move it. Yesterday my son came to me saying he may have an issue down below because he has a rash. I think it might be jock itch, but I said we can go to the doctors just to make sure and then out of nowhere he burst out crying which is not like him at all. He told me he hates his genitals because of the size and shape. It breaks my heart that he thinks there’s something wrong with his body. I’m at a bit of a loss on what to do or say. After a bit he cheered up and went back to his game but I don’t want to just leave it at that. I’m glad he felt comfortable telling me because I have always said if he has any questions or feelings about anything he can come to me. but I’m also panicking that he is going to get body dysmorphia. I did when I was a teen and I ended up with an ED for years.

OpalOwls · 30/06/2025 17:22

How old is he?

Original poster

YourGoldGoose · 30/06/2025 21:47

OpalOwls · 30/06/2025 17:22

How old is he?

He’s 13

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TheSnappyDenimBird · 30/06/2025 23:13

If I’m being honest, my assumption, given his age, would be that he has been watching porn or another unrealistic depiction of what size his penis “should” be and is upset subsequently. That or he has seen one or two more “well developed” boys in his class. The average 13 boy is only in the beginnings of puberty and their genitals will change a lot more over the next few years. Unless you think he has finished puberty- which seems unlikely - speaking as a bloke, the size & shape will likely change a few more times still…

on a broader note though it is important to reinforce in him that fundamentally we do all have different bodies. Some blokes have smaller penises, some larger. Some ladies have smaller breasts, some larger. Some people are tall short fat thin etc etc etc. we all have insecurities… you maybe need to have some conversations with him about dealing with these as it’s certainly a very sensitive and self obsessed age… I’m sure others are more equipped to advise on the content of these …

Original poster

YourGoldGoose · 02/07/2025 19:09

TheSnappyDenimBird · 30/06/2025 23:13

If I’m being honest, my assumption, given his age, would be that he has been watching porn or another unrealistic depiction of what size his penis “should” be and is upset subsequently. That or he has seen one or two more “well developed” boys in his class. The average 13 boy is only in the beginnings of puberty and their genitals will change a lot more over the next few years. Unless you think he has finished puberty- which seems unlikely - speaking as a bloke, the size & shape will likely change a few more times still…

on a broader note though it is important to reinforce in him that fundamentally we do all have different bodies. Some blokes have smaller penises, some larger. Some ladies have smaller breasts, some larger. Some people are tall short fat thin etc etc etc. we all have insecurities… you maybe need to have some conversations with him about dealing with these as it’s certainly a very sensitive and self obsessed age… I’m sure others are more equipped to advise on the content of these …

We’re very close and he tells me everything and he still doesn’t really know about porn other than what his friends have told him. Mentally he is still immature- likes to play with toys and imagines scenarios often. So I know puberty is still aways a way most likely, I didn’t get my period until 13, not sure when his dad started.

Yeah I agree. Since when he was younger I have always taught him that everyone is different, and that some people are taller than others, some people have different face or body shapes, some people have more hair than others etc.

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Washinginthesun · 02/07/2025 22:24

My Dd went through something very similar at the same age. She hated her breast to the point of being distraught about it. I found her a counsellor to talk to once a week online for 12 weeks. A year on she embraced her body completely and now she’s one of the most body confident people I know. To be honest, I think she’d have reached that point on her own without the counsellor. Someone said to me that for some teens it takes a while to get used to this whole new body that’s completely different to all they’ve ever known.

Original poster

YourGoldGoose · 03/07/2025 00:19

Washinginthesun · 02/07/2025 22:24

My Dd went through something very similar at the same age. She hated her breast to the point of being distraught about it. I found her a counsellor to talk to once a week online for 12 weeks. A year on she embraced her body completely and now she’s one of the most body confident people I know. To be honest, I think she’d have reached that point on her own without the counsellor. Someone said to me that for some teens it takes a while to get used to this whole new body that’s completely different to all they’ve ever known.

Thanks for the reassurance, I’m glad your daughter managed to find her way ❤️

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GradMama · 03/07/2025 11:19

Can't find it now but there was an artist who did a photo collage of lots of different men and their privates, the range of all different shapes and sizes is staggering and I wonder if your DS saw that he might feel more comfortable with his? IMO they should cover things like this in much more detail in PSHE at school as so many teens have hang ups about their perfectly normal bodies just because they don't conform to what they see on social media etc but I don't think they do.

Original poster

YourGoldGoose · 03/07/2025 22:09

GradMama · 03/07/2025 11:19

Can't find it now but there was an artist who did a photo collage of lots of different men and their privates, the range of all different shapes and sizes is staggering and I wonder if your DS saw that he might feel more comfortable with his? IMO they should cover things like this in much more detail in PSHE at school as so many teens have hang ups about their perfectly normal bodies just because they don't conform to what they see on social media etc but I don't think they do.

I haven’t heard of this before but I’lo have to try and look into it and find it thank you, it sounds like a good resource. It’s just hard trying to convey that all bodies are different and valid, and that penises/testicles really do come in all sorts of varieties

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