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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Leaving Cert Holiday Woes

9 replies

Endofmyrope1 · 28/06/2025 15:17

Someone please help me with this. My nearly 19 year old only daughter just finished LC and had been on and off about the LC holiday. I was never keen on it but when it was decided last minute that herself and a friend wanted to go, i conceded and invited them to tag along with myself and DH. We had flights to alicante booked ages but no accommodation so suggested we go to Benidorm (definitely not my scene) and she didn't like the idea at first as it was kinda with 'her parents' but her friend (and mom) were happy with it so i got them flights & their own hotel room and she begged that they be allowed do their own thing. I agreed because i was happy just being there should things go t*ts up. Her friend is only 17 so her mum was very happy with the arrangement. So here's the thing. I only saw them for 2 min, 3 times in 4 days..... There were three 5am finishes. I get it we all did it. I was ok with one blow out night maybe 2. Her friend has limited energy and her health hadn't been great and wouldnt be a party animal as such. I wanted to avoid a big argument but what really bothers me is ZERO effort was made to meet us for a catch up, meal or even a drink, not once. She wouldn't even sit with us for brekkie the 1 morning they made it down. Anytime i tried to ring or seek them out for a catch up, and trust me i did NOT pester her, I maybe rang once during the day, she actively avoided me. I saw her when they checked in for about 2 min coz there was a mixup at reception where she was just annoyed by us. Twice at the pool, and at airport pick up each time irritated and took off. Only for life 360 id be utterly in the dark. Im not thick and i know what they were there for but this is all sponsored by me. Im blown away by the selfishness...a little effort to meet wouldn't have killed her given it was an expensive experience. Spending sponsored by us too. She and I clash a lot and have not been getting along in a while for similar reasons, her lack of consideration mostly, were going through a lot with personal stuff, ageing parents, work, and of course LC. A lot of shit has come at us all at once, and we're jaded. But It all seems to go over her head and i really thought we might get a quick chance to have a bit of fun for once outside the home but she is ALLERGIC to us. As an only child shes had a great childhood, give every opportunity available, we support her in every way possible but its just never enough. She also lacks ambition and motivation has self esteem issues and been to counselling at 3 different stages thru the teens. She did something similar 2 years ago when we brought another friend along on hols without the partying of course and we had war afterwards regarding her attitude, she was awful. I thought shed have outgrown that shit by now. PLEASE SOMEONE ENLIGHTEN ME.

OP posts:
Rockfordpeach · 28/06/2025 15:20

Honestly? I think the whole set up was madness.

Cappuccino5 · 28/06/2025 15:54

Frankly, you’re absolutely mad to think that your 19yo and her friend would willingly want to spend time with you on holiday. Mine is 21 now but I was quite happy for her to go off on her own with friends at that age - she’s growing up! You have plenty of time to spend with her at home.

rookiemere · 28/06/2025 15:58

Why on earth did you not let her and her DF holiday alone ? They are 19 for goodness sake.

CatRoleplayTycoon · 28/06/2025 16:00

I think your expectations were unreasonable, OP. The ‘LC holiday with parents in the same hotel’ was already a compromise. The summer I did LC (pre-mobiles) I took off to work and busk in the south of France for most of the summer, hitching and camping and doing bits of casual fruit picking etc — I probably phoned about twice in two months, and spent a lot of the time getting wasted with strangers!

ETA I only just noticed your daughter is 19! I turned 17 the summer I did my LC! Let her offf. She’s an adult.

Weirdaf1 · 28/06/2025 16:03

My dd just finished the LC. She and her close friends couldn't decide what to do so they didn't end up booking anywhere. They have a music festival and a city break coming up. Loads of her class mates are on holiday at the moment. It looks like chaos. It's a very different holiday to a family trip.

I think you should have been clearer with each other about your expectations. It looks like she thought you were financing and arranging the logistics for them to have the typical leaving cert holiday. You were expecting something different.

It's a pity it has become another source of disagreement between you.

murasaki · 28/06/2025 16:07

A post final exams holiday with your parents is my idea of hell. Thank god when I did mine, they dropped us off in Newquay and left us to it. No mobile phone stalking as no one had them and kindly picked up hungover teenagers at the end. If they'd worried, we never knew. And it was for the best that they didn't see what we got up to.....

Endofmyrope1 · 28/06/2025 19:43

I think i need to clarify a little...she's also going away for the rest of the summer working and living 3 hours from home and will be having a fun time there too. Im not that desperate to hang onto her. And heading to college after that. So we won't see her. I dont think it was too much to expect a quick meet up or plan a fun activity as things haven't been fun for any of us...the rest of their time was their own. Were in the same place ffs??!! I just really didn't expect her to completely ignore us in such a rude way especially as we funded it. Even her friend thought it was very rude the way she was dodging us...would it kill her to force herself if only for an hour to show some appreciation?? Im raging.

OP posts:
murasaki · 28/06/2025 20:05

I wouldn't have agreed to go. But she did, so I agree she should have had a couple of meals with you, or a trip somewhere on one day. I can see why you're cross.

I'd not be funding much more of her summer.

CarpetKnees · 28/06/2025 20:29

I agree with everyone else.

My question is more why you were funding her, and also why you thought she would want to spend time doing things with her parents when she was on a holiday with her friend.

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