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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Vaping, stealing and lying

4 replies

Pleasehelpme90 · 25/06/2025 21:05

I will keep this as short as possible. I’m not looking for opinions on if I’m doing the right thing as such because this is new territory for me, more for support from anyone else who is going through/has gone through similar.

A few months ago I found out my teenager (14) was vaping and stealing money from me. I went hard, threw the vapes away, took any money he had, and made it clear if he stole from me again there would be clear consequences. I also took his games console and phone for a long time.
Recently I found out he had been vaping again, and I also found £40 missing from my purse. He’s adamant he didn’t take it, but I know deep down he has.
He said he is struggling with the nicotine addiction. Now, I hate that he has got himself in this situation and have done what I can to stop it. He’s clearly addicted and I have gone and bought low nicotine gum and patches, which say they are safe for 12-18 year olds. It’s not what I wanted to do but I want to help him to stop. The vapes he has been getting from people are school are high levels, and the NRT is much lower. I still don’t know if I’ve made the right decision but I’ve tried everything else, and I just want to help him stop one way or another. He’s getting hold of them at school. I have told school but have been told half the kids vape and there’s not much they can do, which is frustrating but I get it.

I have a major issue with stealing and lying. No matter what I take away he has done it again. He knows how disappointed, angry and upset I am at all of this. We work very hard like a lot of people do and I’m appalled that my child has taken from me again. I’ve had a thought of calling non emergency police to see if someone will come and speak to him. Previously he stole approximately £200 from me over a few months, here and there. I like to think we’re good parents and we are trying our best to instil morals in him and I don’t know how to approach it now we’re back here. I’m so hurt and let down. I’ve talked to him and he says he understands how upset we are, but he keeps doing it. I love my son but I don’t know how to cope with this. Has anyone else found themselves in a similar situation?

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 26/06/2025 05:15

Take him to the doctor or the chemist and engage in a program to get off vaping and nicotine.
It is a serious problem.

PullingOutHair123 · 29/06/2025 13:43

I’m not as far in as you - but found out recently our delightful child has been vaping. School have been really good, easy to work with and we’ve happily supported their sanctioning and support as well some penalties at home. I would recommend working with them if that is an option or you are not already. I appreciate some schools are better than others in this respect!

It’s the lying as well as the vaping. It’s been a challenging couple of weeks.

You’re not alone!

Wish they would ban all the sweet flavours obviously aimed at kids. It’s my childs choice/responsibility ultimately to decide to vape or not - but the advertising around it really doesn’t help.

THisbackwithavengeance · 29/06/2025 18:30

Vaping is a serious addiction problem not just for teens but for adults. Basically the Government has allowed the vape companies to market their wares to kids so that a new generation of addicts have been created to replace the smokers which will keep the money rolling into pockets.

It’s fucking disgusting.

Tulipvase · 29/06/2025 18:32

My son went through a similar stage. Just want to say that he’s a couple of years older and wiser now and a very different person.

Hang on in there.

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