Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Am I over reacting?

10 replies

Walkingdisaster1991 · 19/06/2025 10:20

So I just had a call from my son's school (he's in year 9 and is 14) a teacher phoned to inform me of an incident that happened Tuesday. So my son was walking down the corridor and pushed one of his friends and he feel into her. Yes this is totally wrong and he will be dealt with. My issue is she started the conversation with "I don't think it's the colour of my skin, my race or my sex" and I'm like excuse me? That's actually thrown me that you've started a conversation like that. She said she has CCTV and the head of year has identified my son as the one that did the pushing and I've said that's fine I'll deal with him later and see if I can also come and view the CCTV. She's told me I don't need to go in as it's perfectly clear that he's targeted her. Anyway I've come off the phone and called the year office and they've said although the teacher was within her rights to call me directly they don't actually know what to do about how she started the conversation as it's not appropriate and they're going to call me back as it's insinuated my child is either racist or sexist which is not the case. What would you do in this situation? He's obviously going to get punished for the pushing but what would you do about how she started the conversation because I'm actually fuming.

OP posts:
IceCreamWoes · 19/06/2025 10:22

I'm confused what you're saying she said. Can you be clearer?

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 19/06/2025 10:24

But surely she said she doesn’t think he’s racist or sexist if she said ‘I don’t think it’s the colour of my skin, my race or my sex’?

MumChp · 19/06/2025 10:24

Why is the conversation important to you?

Seeline · 19/06/2025 10:24

I would definitely be asking to see the CCTV. You know your DS obviously, but I think it far more likely it was two kids messing about in the corridor and one pushed the other. I doubt they even noticed the teacher walking the other way, let alone targeted her.
She sounds very strange - was she implying that she was targeted because she was female and/or a different skin colour and/or a different race?

feathermucker · 19/06/2025 10:34

Did he push one of his friends into someone or did he push a friend and that’s who you’re talking about?! Who started the conversation with words about sex
and colour?! Your post is confusing

Comedycook · 19/06/2025 10:37

I really don't understand...your post is confusing

LadyLucyWells · 19/06/2025 10:39

In my experience (2 adult dc) I would get your sons side of this before you do anything.

raysan · 19/06/2025 11:07

My interpretation is that the teacher (rightly or wrongly) thinks the kid targetted the first teacher walking past, and that its not a sexist/ racist motivation. That's decent, I'd be grateful she said that and not trying to make more of it.

To ring you, I assume she genuinely sensed it was on purpose.

I dont have a teenager yet but theres a valuable lesson to learn here that your actions count more than your intentions.

PumpkinPie2016 · 20/06/2025 20:45

I'm a teacher and I think it's an odd thing for her to say, even if she doesn't think it was a racist/sexist incident.

If it were me, I would not have mentioned anything like that, unless I thought it was racist/sexist.

I would have said something like 'James was being silly on the corridor, pushing and shoving his friend, causing his friend to bump into me. I've spoken to James and told him that he needs to be sensible as he could hurt someone doing that'.

End of.

I would ask your son what happened and if needs be, follow up with school.

Cadenza12 · 20/06/2025 20:56

I think that you focussing on the wrong part of the discussion. Concentrate on sorting out your son.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread