I'm so worried about our 14 year old DD; I feel like we're losing her and she's going out of control. We treat her with love and kindness and always try to speak with her but her standard responses to everything seems to be either 'it's not that deep,' 'you don't need to know or 'I don't care / I don't want to talk about it.'
She has a number of things going on including a recent ND diagnosis, which she first embraced but is now in denial over; mainly bc DH and I want her to move schools to one that is less intense and more suited to supporting her to get her GCSEs. She doesn't see why she should move and is verbally aggressive and very angry about this and refusing to move, despite all of the really nice options and the fact that she's been able to do a taster day there already.
She is going to a party at the w/e and last night told me she and her friends were sick at the last party bc of what they drunk, they want 3 (three each!!!) cans of alcohol to have before they go. I've said it's OK to have a small drink with the family over dinner but making their own cocktails is not OK and having multiple cans of alco-pops is definitely not OK.
She recently had a sleepover at our house with friends and last night I learned they pretty much cleared out our vodka stash between them. And the same night she climbed out of the window at 2am and disappeared off with a boy for 2 hours. We've already talked with her about her the last incident - breaking our trust and it needs to be earned back, personal safety etc.
I just don't know what to do. I fear it's only going to get worse. She is extremely bright and seems to know what buttons to push.
I feel we're doing all the right things for her future but her responses and behaviour....I'm afraid she is going to spin out of control and become more reckless.
Advice, experience...anything?!! Thank you in advance.