Gap year money / finance

[gapyr]

DD about to finish a levels and planning a gap year to work and focus on her sport before going to university next year. We’ve told her we expect a contribution to bills (not said how much but we thought £25 pw) and we would save this for her and give to her for her university years.

however im really not sure about this and what’s fair. And not sure about giving her any money during the year or if she should support herself. And by that I mean we’d still buy her food, pay her mobile bill but she’d pay for travel, clothes, her training, going out etc.

her job means she earns between £14-19 ph depending on if she’s coaching or just working in the office. She can within reason get as many shifts as she likes as her skills are in high demand.

we want to support her emotionally and will support her financially at university but unclear what’s best for her gap year. We want her to understand how lucky she is that we are relatively well off (both work ft) and can support her at university, but also for her to understand the value of money. This year has been a bit up and down and we’ve felt she sometimes just expects we’ll fund everything and takes things for granted.

does anyone have any advice / thoughts pls?

Personally i think establishing the principle of having to pay something while living at home in her gap year is entirely reasonable, particularly as you are planning to give her the money back when she goes to Uni. She will have to get used to budgeting and managing her money for uni and beyond so good she starts now while still at home. I’d agree that she pays her travel, clothes , going out etc. and you pay food and mobile. £25 per week is not unreasonable and if for any reason it becomes problematic if for instance available hours at work suddenly drop off you can amend the amount.

Thanks @Aligirlbearive heard from others they’d not dream of charging their DC and I’m being unreasonable to think of it so helpful to know maybe I’m not alone!

I was so terrible with money at that age - I think it's good for kids to be learning to put some aside - or it just sets you up to think there is a never ending stream of money! I could have done with a bit more reality and being taught money management as a young adult/ teen / uni student...

We didn't charge dd any rent during her gap year, and we covered all of her food and her mobile costs. She covered everything else... clothes, toiletries, travel, socialising etc.

Both dh come from families where the parents would never dream of charging their dc rent, so it would have been really alien to us. DD seems to have learned how to manage her money regardless!

If she's not working to save for her university years I would expect to treat her like you would any working adult i.e. charge something towards board. Whilst this wouldn't be anything like market rate, £25 a week is really low (and £300 saved over the year won't go very far). For comparison purposes my DC did an apprenticeship at that age and we charged him £400 a month. (if he wanted to save for his future, we would think differently, but he spends every penny he earns)

I have a DS a year older. He went straight to uni without a gap year, but if he'd been at home I don't think I'd have charged him rent. I'd have wanted the money he earned to go towards travelling and uni costs. However as pp says there is no right or wrong answer to this and it's up to you.

I think £25 is a reasonable amount to charge, especially as you're intending to give it back to her at Uni. I think its good to teach them the responsibilities of paying towards a household

My son paid a contribution to the house when he worked full-time before going to uni. To encourage him to save I said if he put money in his savings every week I would add the 'lodge' money back into his savings but if he didn't put anything into his savings I kept the 'lodge' money. He went off to uni with a really good pot of money.

I believe it's an important part of them transitioning to have more responsibility for themselves(bills, funding their activities etc) so think it's a good thing.

My children all four paid keep , now they are adults with their own houses and they know how to budget. They have all got fantastic jobs earning a high wage . Money doesn’t grow on trees they need to learn that everything cost money

@gapyr

Which subject is she going to read at Uni, OP?

Does she have a deferred place or is she applying this autumn for next year?

I can't afford to subsidise ds - I do pay for his mobile - but I don't want to make a profit from him. I ask for £10 for each day he works - shifts can be inconsistent - up to £200 a month. He will be looking for a 'proper' job as he is graduating soon and if it is local and living at home I'll probably keep it at that so he can save towards his own house.

I totally agree and it encourages responsibility with money. My son is 21 in December. He has worked since he was 17. He was doing his a levels at college until 18. His bar job gave him money for petrol for his car. He didn't earn very much but it was a lot to him. I didn't ask for board then. After college he worked at the bar for another year and then he applied and successfully got his engineering apprenticeship and earning serious money. He started in October and since January I have £50 a week from him to contribute to the household. I have not spent any of this, I can if wanted, but I decided i would save in an account and it will go towards a down payment for his own house one day. It's not the money he gives me that's important. But I hope the lesson I'm teaching him is life costs. He pays his own phone bill, sorts his car out and pays board. But I do buy all his toiletries and the like as I always did. I think it is a good thing for them. We all did it when we lived at home and it teaches better money management. I don't think your unreasonable to set these rules at all.

No right or wrong answer here.
I have one child who had a gap year before uni. We provided food and mobile but they worked and travelled on their own money. They budgeted well and have done so at uni too. If they come home after uni then we will charge a contribution towards food and bills.
Other child about to have a gap year and we will do the same.
We’ve encouraged them to have part time jobs since 16 and save some/spend some so they were used to not being given everything they wanted and having to save and budget.
Maybe sit down and work out her budget for her plans for the year? If you feel she takes too much for granted then maybe having a clear plan and budget is a good way to learn that there is a limited amount and choices need to be made how to spend it. Do you tend to bail her out if she overspends?

My child is younger than that (16) but working whilst at college.
they don’t contribute to bills, but pays 1/3rd of earnings to pay for a holiday, 1/3rd of earnings into savings and has 1/3rd to spend.
the 1/3rd paid to me for his holiday is actually also going into savings. they just doesn’t know it.

point his it’s establishing an awareness of where money goes! And how easy it is to spend! & making sure there’s some for what wants to be achieved.

You do kids no favours by funding them. You're training her to be an adult, how to cope with life, all the skills she needs. Paying for her when she's earning delays her learning anything. You're right to want to charge her.

This is a great idea.

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer. It depends on the individual person and how good they are with money, and how motivated to save.

One of mine is not a spender, and saves most of their money anyway. For them, I'd not take anything as I'd know it was being saved.
At 18, one of mine was hopeless with money, it just burnt a hole in their pocket, so, to help them, I'd have charged them a much, much higher amount, so they were used to only having a much smaller amount to budget for lunch / travel / social life before going to university and being given 1/3 of their maintenance loan in one go.
The other one is somewhere in the middle, so I still think I'd charge quite a bit more than £25, particularly as your dc can easily earn £600 - £700 pw (before tax, admittedly) then they are going to have an awful lot left to fritter if that is their nature, £25 isn't going to make an impact.

My son is taking a year out next year before uni. He’s had a well paid waiter job for the last two years. The first year he saved up to pay £1000 towards an expensive rugby trip. Last year he gave me 25% of his salary (the amount obviously depended on his monthly salary which was different every month). This year he will continue to pay me 25% of his monthly salary. Most of this I will be saving and will give it back to him when he heads off to uni (but some of it does go towards his phone/gym and very pricey car insurance!)

A gap year is a bit of a luxury, but she is using it to benefit her studies later
£25 per week.is very reasonable. No one lives for free, don't feel guilty. It's good preparation for managing money at uni and beyond.

Mine has taken a gap year and is currently doing Camp America. I told her that while I was happy for her to take the year, it was not a year for her to do f-all at my expense. She got a full time job; I didn't take any money from her, as she was saving for CA. She'll be home end of August and will not now be going to uni, so she knew she would be expected to get a job asap. I don't expect her to give me anything, but nor do I expect to be paying for her lifestyle.

I’ve already told my 16 year old once he’s finished FT education and has a job that he will need to contribute to running of household and buy food over and above the regular times. Pay his own mobile bill etc. car etc. they won’t be moving out until they’re 30