Talking to your older teen about drugs

[Seymourscat]

Any advice? DD is 18 and off to uni in September. I know shes occasionally smoked weed and whilst I don’t approve accept there’s not much I can do. We had a talk about it when I found out. She’s aware of the legalities and potential harm. She’s a bit of a risk taker though and likes to be with the ‘cool kids’. I’m worried she will be exposed to other drugs. In fact she’s bound to be really based on what I know about university life.

I appreciate she’s an adult but only just. I dabbled in drug use as a teen (hard core 90s raver!) and survived unscathed and I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I’d rather she took no drugs and maybe she won’t but I need to have a conversation about it maybe.

Any advice? Any websites to go to for advice? I just want to help make good choices.

No advice but https://www.talktofrank.com/ might be helpful?

Show her the Leah Betes photo that her parents released.

What would you say though? We just say we never took anything and suggest they don’t either as it’s too risky.

If you dabbled then you must have experience (either personal or from people you knew) where shit hit the fan in big or small ways. Tell her those stories.
The most successful don't do drugs talk I ever had was when I was in upper 6th, from a teacher who was just out of uni himself. He told us about his best friend who overdosed and died and wasn't found for a week. It was personal and raw and actually got through to 60 18 year olds because it wasn't just another factual lecture from people who in our teenaged opinions had no clue about anything relevant to an 18 year old. (or it was all a lie and the teacher was a decent actor)

But in any case, she will make her own choices, so also give her good advice about staying safe if she's going to partake - ask her questions like 'what would you do if... '

Tbh and I've never touched anything other than weed when I was younger, I would try and explain how much crap drugs like ket, molly etc can be mixed with. Also explain symptoms to look out for of drugs are taken and when a hospital may be required. Don't buy drugs of the guy in the club etc

We discussed how awful drug dealers are and how you never know what you are getting and harm reduction, always taking care of your friends etc. The same as the alcohol chat but with the “in the hands of criminals” add on.

Every time we go to a city and someone off their tits walks past us I tend to say “and that’s why we dont do drugs”.

walked past a chap at weekend moaning to his mate that “she got me put on remand for six weeks”. We had a little chat as a family that he was probably talking about his partner who he’d beaten up , that led to a locus of control conversation.

Thanks for all of the ideas

I'm 24 so finished university a few years ago. My mum made me promise not to do drugs. My mum was against me drinking which only made me drink more unfortunately.

I've tried weed and really enjoyed it. Not touched it since first year. I'd never ever touch anything harder as I was absolutely terrified of death. Now I don't even drink anymore and it doesn't bother me.

Teach her to set boundaries. You already know she's going to do it, but with boundaries in place it is fairly controlled. In my experience, i said it was ok on a Friday night. That turns into Friday night and Saturday quiet quickly. Then the whole weekend and before I knew it it was a few hundred quid a week and was doing it lunch time at work on a Wednesday (at this point I quit). Knowing when the right time and the wrong time to do it and setting personal boundaries may help.

Also kids have to rebel, so you need to leave some room for rebellion. You can't be ok with everything.

I confess now that my mother was right all along.

Frank is a good resource because it explains everything in a clear way and is still honest/completely fact-checked. Also not necessarily about drugs itself, but my teen has asked anonymous questions about peer pressure to doctors on the teen wellbeing app luna (seen that a fellow mum above has recommended it too!) and she's got some really good answers that I trust a lot. I was very impressed. She also read an article about putting her needs first on it too which was great.