Worried about DD behaviour

[Cactus5]

Hi all. I know it's a teen topic, but I feel there may be more people in this forum who've had similar issues.
My DD, 11 is going through puberty and has turned from a nice little girl to a monster!
She never wants to speak about her day, constantly shouts if we try to talk to her or ask her to do something.
When she comes home from school, she sometimes screams at the top of her lungs and punches or bites herself over her homework or a game that she lost on her tablet. That can last for upto half an hour and it's impossible to make her stop.
She has always been a good, shy girl, but has more friends since starting secondary school. She seems to be doing fine at school and enjoys her after school sports classes 3 days a week.
We have had a long conversation with her today and if it continues, will take her to see a GP. Does anyone have any suggestions or similar experiences in dealing with this behaviour?

This all sounds very intense.

The meltdowns- can you see when she is becoming distressed before a big outburst happens?

Perhaps try a different home from school routine- offer food/drinks and then let her just potter around and when she’s had time to decompress then chat about the day if she initiates it.

Are the competitive games on the table winding her up? Sometimes they are good as they are a fun outlet sometimes they can be toxic in that they overstimulate.

Most of the meltdowns happen soon after school. She goes in her room, ignores my offers of snacks, chat or play time with her younger brother and starts doing her homework. She is probably too tired and overstimulated after school, but I always tell her to have a rest and a snack first and she never listens! She doesn't get that much homework and never asks for any help with it, but wants to get it all done asap. Yesterday, I said she could play on her tablet after school, but because she couldn't do something on Minecraft, she had another big meltdown.
She also gets angry and frustrated very easily for no big reason.
After having a meltdown or being angry, she often writes letters to say how sorry she is and how much she loves her family.
I don't know if it's normal teenage behavior or something to be concerned about?

I downloaded the app too from an instagram ad and it was amazing when my DD was going through a bit of a phase too - she's a lot better now and I think that the app really helped with her wellbeing and feeling like she was in control of something. And it's all doctors/experts so I don't have to worry.

What’s the app?

This sounds very normal

I think of secondary school as being a bit like the impact on a grown up if we had a really long weekend at a festival! the day is so long, the go through so many lessons - so much social pressure - they are full of hormones.

My son is in year 9 and he was completely changed in year 7 from the boy I knew at primary - exhausted, rude, would come home and literally want to lie on his bed.

The only advice I can give is don't let it become a slide into scrolling phones and screem time as thats what happend with my son and I hugely regret not tackling it when he was younger.

DD is also 11 and has ALL the feeling at the moment, usually within a 5 minute span unexpectedly. Secondary school has been a big adjustment and puberty is kicking in.

What seems to have helped us a little is creating a space for her that isn’t her room and enforces a bit of quiet time. We have an outside gazebo thing with a sofa and hammock, it’s protected from rain and ive put a heater and some thick blankets out there. So she comes home from school, gets a snack and a drink and goes and curls up and has half an hour of quiet Reading time. I had to really convince her to try it the first few times, but once she realised it gave her the opportunity to reset her brain a bit and process the day she has started opting into it when she needs the space.

Sounds a bit intense. Get her some blood tests to ensure everything is ok.

Perhaps try magnesium glycinate gummies for kids.

How is your DD doing now @Cactus5?

Just typed a long reply and realised it was a zombie thread from 6 months ago 🙄.

ZOMBIE