21/2 years of Estranged daughter

[Youcandothisbusinessthing]

It’s her birthday today. Don’t know what to do with myself.

Very hard. I don’t know the circumstances, but very hard. My DiL is estranged from her mother and it really worries me. - from both their POVs. I understand some of the reasons but suspect I don’t know everything from both sides.
id find a way of reaching out.
21 is so young and there’s so much time to make amends. Could you reach out with a beautiful pic of her as a baby and appropriate words? In your shoes I wouldn’t want her to ever come back with the line that I hadn’t tried. Whatever the reasons for the estrangement you are the grown up, and she may have dug herself a hole which she needs help to climb out of

That must be incredibly painful. I'm so sorry. I agree with the previous poster about the fact she might have done herself a hole she's too proud to get out of. How would you feel about sending her a message even if you don't get a reply?

Im estranged from a parent at present. Can u send a text or card and - as PP said - with no expectation of a response. Just try and keep up some communication especially at significant moments.

This is hard.

Thank you both that’s very kind. I’m certainly struggling.
I suspect she is in a bit of a hole and I suspect she is strongly persuaded to stay in it. So far I just seem to make mistakes and make things worse. It’s so hard if you can’t discuss- I’m sure we are just misunderstanding each other. I would love to send her a message. I’m thinking of a neutral message on a birthday card. Whether she will get it is another thing.
thank you changeofname that’s very kind. And important to hear from your viewpoint.
Yes, it is so so hard.
i do feel for you and your parents. No misunderstanding is worth this much pain. Hugs to you all.