14 year old ds3 asking me for advice about girls/dating

[elliejjtiny]

I think it's lovely that he is asking me but I don't know what to say to him. He wants to ask my friend's dd out but he's worried she will say no and it will be awkward between them. Should I talk to my friend about it or keep my nose out? I've only ever had 1 proper boyfriend as I have been with dh since I was a teenager so I don't really know much about it.

Ds1 hasn't had a girlfriend and ds2 asked a girl out, she said no and he took an overdose (he survived but it was very close and he was in hdu). So I'm quite nervous about giving him the wrong advice.

Does anyone have any ideas or recommend a good book/website?

Haven’t got much advice apart from not getting directly involved.

He could ask her out casually or as a friend. Maybe see a film at the cinema? Then he can gauge how interested she is.

I'd stress to him that it's perfectly normal to get turned down by girls, if you are going out with a girl for either of you to break up andthat the most important thing is that both are enjoying it.

It may feel like the end of the world if a girl says no but most people don't get married to their first boyfriend like his mum did and they still end up happy.

At 14 "going out" with someone should still be casual. Going to the cinema, bowling, meeting at Costa or whatever.
Has he actually done these types of things with girls simply as friends? That's the starting point. Hanging out as friends first.
But definitely tell him that's it's really normal to be turned down for a date. Many 14 years aren't at a dating stage in their life or if they are they simply don't have to want to be his girlfriend and it's no big deal if they don't and they can still be friends.
(sorry to hear about your middle son...i hope he is doing ok now 💐)