Pilfering teen friend - any ideas how to handle?

[Unbeleevable]

My teen dd is good friends with the dd of one of my friends (same age but different schools). let’s call friend Nora.

Nora hangs out at our house a few times a month, I have no problem with her being a “bad influence” but I’m aware she isn’t always making brilliant choices (but then, what teen does?)

Recently discovered she has possibly pilfered a few things in my house - a tenner, some little odds and ends that my dd found in Nora’s bedroom when she visited.

Would you ignore the behaviour?

I am guessing she’s doing it for the thrill (there’s been some self-harm and eating disorder and some self esteem problems so stealing might just be a symptom of being a bit unhappy in a teenage-y way).

Inclined to ignore it, but I really like Nora and if I could help… well I probably can’t without making it look like I’m accusing her and i don’t want to damage friendships,

I’m obviously telling dd to keep valuables well hidden and I make sure there’s no money in obvious places.

Nope, no way would I ignore. Particularly if the things are on display in her house. That's really unpleasant behaviour, like some sort of power trip.

Look out for your own daughter first.

If this girl is stealing from your house she may well be doing it from other homes and much worse .. from shops when your daughter is with her, your daughter will almost certainly get the blame.

What? No don't ignore it! She stole from you.
Why do you want your teen daughter to be friends with someone who steals from you?

This!
As a teen my brother was friends with another boy (we'll call him Burglar Bill). The pair of them went to another boy's house to hang out. And after their visit the parents discovered £600 had gone missing.

My DB and Burglar Bill were arrested, and fingerprinted. It was horrible and very stressful. Burgler Bill had taken the money. But DB still had to go through the accusations and our family deal with the upset

Absolutely do not ignore this behaviour. At the very least, ban this "friend" from the house.

Is this a joke? Of course you can’t ignore it.

Also be very careful about what message you are sending to your daughter if you ignore this behaviour- essentially it's ok to steal if you are struggling with your mental health and there will be no consequences.

It will bite you in the ass in the long run

What is making you want to ignore this?

You are not being kind to anybody if you do, including this girl. Better for her to be stopped now than when she could get into real trouble.

Good grief of course you can’t ignore this! What sort of message does that send to Nora and to your DD. This could be the start of a serious problem if no one does anything - don’t take the easy route and ignore this. You need to put a stop to this - certainly in your house and in the vicinity of your DD op.

Really tricky one. I’d feel the same, wanting to be kind but also not ignore it. I wouldn’t confront her unless it got worse, especially knowing she’s struggling. You’re doing the right thing by keeping valuables tucked away and talking to your daughter about it calmly. In general friendships can be SO tricky and finding the right people for your daughter (my DD a bit with finding her people). It was really helpful reading this article that I found from googling: https://weareluna.app/parents/guides/relationships/helping-teens-make-friends/

But basically, if it continues, I would say that it's best to not ignore this, because it really could become a big big problem.