Question about adult child?

[HangryGreyBiscuit]

For context, I don’t care who my child hangs out with, or where he is at or whatever, its all his call as he is 18, whether he chooses to give me details or not say a word is also his call, so given he doesn’t end up calling me to pay his bail out of police custody after he gets arrested for doing dumb shit. My only condition is if he is out for more than 24 hours, that he calls me or if not just sends me a super simple message that just “Good morning” or “good night”, or if he doesn’t want that, even just a random emoji, just at least ONCE, ONCE per 24 hours so I know he is still breathing and alive, even if he is drunk or something. Being someone conscious of his independence, and also someone with OCD, he asks me what if he doesn’t respond to me in 24 hours even just once, I tell him if thats the case I may try legally filing a missing persons report, so long as he is living in our family house. Pretty minimal demands if you ask me T.B.H. Even this somehow can get him angry and furious. What gives? 😭

Would he let you follow him on life 360? When mine passed his driving test he had to drive 3 hrs regularly, which was very worrying for me knowing he was a new driver so my younger son suggested life 360. He doesn’t have to bother texting me to say he has arrived and I can see he is safely at his destination. It works for us.

I agree it's nothing to do with age when you share a household with someone you check in and thats the same whether your 18 or 80.

make sure from your tone that you are communicating to him from a place of care and love instead of control. Sorry to say but the tone of your post does sound irritated and controlling. I can see why he’d rebel if that’s how he perceives it too.

Likely not, and thats fine with me, I don’t care if he shares location with me or chooses not to, I really couldn't mind whether he shared other details or not, I just require some form of confirmation he is still breathing, still alive at least once every 24hr

Noted, am I being unreasonable with him however? Just curious.

I have a child that age and he’s expected to tell me that he’s sleeping elsewhere for the night but as he’s an adult, he’s allowed to extend that if he wants.

When he was in Sixth Form he was expected to tell me if he was going to be in for dinner. He was happy to do this so that I could ensure there was ingredients in for him to cook his favourites when he came in later than dinner.