Son struggling at school

[Walkingdisaster1991]

I don't know if anyone's been/going through anything similar but my son is a nightmare at school. I've had meetings with his head of year about his behaviour and even he's said that my son just isn't an academic and school isn't right for everyone 🤦🏻‍♀️. So he's 14 in year 9 and has DLD (developmental language disorder) which causes him to really struggle with learning. Lately his behaviour has been horrendous but only really at school he's totally fine at home, just does normal silly teenage things. I got a phone call yesterday to get him to put his tie on and stop wondering around bc the staff couldn't get him to do as he was told. He was in isolation for the day and they were tempted to send him home and try the next day. On a normal school day I have to battle to get him out the door he's always late to school and when he is there on time he's never where he should be so is marked down as late! As he was leaving for school the other day he said he's going to be getting a c2 (after school detention) because he has English so was already planning on misbehaving. I've spoken to the head of year about him struggling in french so he's been pulled out of that and does study support to help with his math and English which he really needs help with, they've also put him on a scheme where he does some work on an allotment and he's got the potential of college one day a week to either do mechanic's or woodwork but that's all dependant on his behaviour. Yesterday it all blew up a bit as we're totally lost at what to do and clearly I'm still lost because I'm here asking for advice. Ive got 4 kids 1 older than him and 2 younger and I have no issues with their behaviour at all. Also to add I've had to self refer to get him assessed for ADHD because he can pretty much fill out an ADHD check list. I did try going to the doctor's but the doctors said the school has to refer him, the school said the council no longer allows that so self refer was the only way to go. I just don't know what to do next. Thank you if you read this far

Does he have an EHCP? It sounds like he’s misbehaving because school is just too hard for him. What reasonable adjustments has the school put in place for your son? He’s obviously struggling.

School can’t just send him home. It has to be an official exclusion. Just sending him home without the official paperwork is an illegal exclusion.

I suggest you contact your local SENDIASS group. Every local authority has one. They can advise on what reasonable adjustments the school could be putting in place for your son’s SEND.

Does your son have an IEP or provision map at school?

Re EHCP - you can put in a parental request if your sons school aren’t able to meet his needs. Have a look at tge IPSEA website - they have standard letters and forms you can use.

Thank you for replying. No he doesn't have an ehcp, I was told he wouldn't meet the requirement when I asked the school about it before.
He also wasn't diagnosed with dld until year 8 by a speech and language lady which is frustrating because he had been seeing speach and language his whole school life.

I'll attach a screen shot of the help the school have said they'll offer (crossed out bits will be sons name and last bit our local authority) however my son kept saying he isn't getting any help and when I had a meeting with the head of year he said that's actually the case as they don't have the staff! So they can see he's struggling, set something up to look like they're helping then haven't got him the help! I'm not sure what an IEP is but he has a pupil passport which has everything about what he struggles with and what could help, the real kicker was when I got a call from his science teacher and she said there's no pupil passport for him so I had to get the senco lead to send it out and every meeting I go to the head of year says he'll get it set out again but it looks like the teachers don't look at them anyway! When they said they were thinking of sending him home the other day they asked if they should just let him go or if I'd be picking him up so were more than happy to just let him leave which in my opion is absolutely ridiculous.

I'll definitely have a look for our SEMDIASS group and look on the IPSEA website. Thank you for those recommendations

If the above support is not actually happening, then a pupil passport is worse than useless.

Ignore what school is saying about him not meeting the EHCP threshold and apply for one yourself. It’s absolutely standard for the LA to turn down the first Needs Assessment request - you need to keep challenging them and go to mediation/tribunal etc.

Ask the school for evidence of how often he has received the support on his pupil passport.