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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

nearly 12 year old who has grown horns!

33 replies

smartiejake · 19/05/2008 19:57

DD is nearly 12. She goes to a small independent school which she chose over the local state school where some of her frinds went. She has had some problems at school due to one particularly nasty girl (who actually everyone is now getting fed up with) but she has made some new friends and everything seemed to have settled down.

We have been to the doctors a few times since christmas. She was concussed in an incident at school in February and then injured her foot doing something daft with her frieds. She also had a throat infection.

She has been suffering from headaches for about 3 months on and off and the doctor has referred us to an osteopath and a paediatrician. He said he doesn't feel there is anything seriously wrong but thinks there is some underlying emotional problem that maybe exacerbating her symptoms. I think it's largely hormonal!

My dh has a very demanding job and works away during the week and I am finding her so hard to deal with at the moment. We are looking into alternative schooling for her for september but I just need some advice as to how to balance the need to be sympathetic with the need to keep her in line.

She is so damn demanding and rude all the time. Her emotions swing from ecstatic to depressed in the blink of an eye. I seem to be arguing with her all the time but she is only 11 and don't feel that the way she is behaving is acceptable.

Earlier she complained that I hadn't given her enough for dinner. WHen she continued I told her she had three chances to stop complaining or her dinner would go in the bin. She carried on. Dinner went in the bin. Cue screaming like a demented banshee followed by an attempt to walk out of the house which I stopped.

I have now told her that friends/ sweets/ treats in half term and riding lessons which she would like are dependent on better behaviour (and I WILL carry out my threats)

But I just seem to spend all my time having to make threats and I am so tired of it.

What do you wise ladies do in these situations? What works for you?

OP posts:
maryz · 21/05/2008 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

smartiejake · 21/05/2008 20:05

Saw the osteo today and he has no doubt that her headaches are due to a neck and back problem caused by her very flat feet. It's all putting her whole body out of alignment. He has recommended seeing a podiatrist (like my other dd- must run in the family)to get some special inserts made for her shoes.

She has been much calmer in the last few days. She has been happier at school and less argumentative. Agree with the cuddles- she is a very affectionate child and loves a cuddle.

I will try not to let her get to me and try the non engagement (easier said than done though!)

OP posts:
Elasticwoman · 21/05/2008 20:06

Poor Smartie-dd! No wonder she is cross; I'd be cross if I had a headache that wouldn't go away.

smartiejake · 22/05/2008 23:38

Well we went to the paediatrician today. She thinks dd might be suffering from a mild form of fybromialgia which is rare in a child( in my family, my cousin has an extreme form of this and I my mum and my grandmother also have mild symtoms)The moods may be a part of this (that together with the hormone thing!)and her lack of concentration at school...

Dr has prescribed some medication she feels might help and also asked for her to see a councellor as emotional problems can be part of the condition. Dr. has also referred her to a podiatrist to help her with the posture thing.Any thing that helps the headaches.

And I thought that breast feeding her (for 9 months)might prevent these things that run in the family...

OP posts:
Elasticwoman · 23/05/2008 21:01

BF protects from infection, not from inherited disorders.

smartiejake · 24/05/2008 11:44

I was told that the asthma and allergies which run in dhs family would be less likely to happen if I breast fed. Not sure why this condition would be considered to be different. It's not really genetic, more a tendency to run in families.

OP posts:
amicissima · 24/05/2008 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elasticwoman · 24/05/2008 20:20

Breastfeeding protects against infections such as the common cold, but also doesn't create the excess mucus which is a hazard of formula feeding. If a baby produces less mucus and has fewer colds, then asthma is less likely to take hold, as I understand it.

Allergies/intolerances can be triggered when the immature gut of a baby is exposed to anything other than breastmilk. No one lives on breastmilk alone all their lives, so something else is going to be introduced at some stage, but the longer that can be put off, the better, in terms of protection from allergies.

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