Navigating DD wanting boyfriend to stay

[HermioneRuby1]

18 year old DD wants boyfriend to stay over and I am fine with it, she’s 18 he’s a nice boy. DH however not doing so well with it and wants him to sleep on an air bed if he stays albeit is ok if said air bed is in her room.
I feel this is not necessary but when I try to talk to him about it he doesn’t want to discuss it and gets a little cross.
Any advice or experience would be appreciated.

Stick the airbed in the room and tell them to make of it what they will.

He's being ridiculous.
What on earth would be the point of an air bed on her floor? It's not like he's actually going to sleep on it...

Sounds like a perfectly sensible plan.

Everyone can go through the motions of pretending there are some boundaries.

I know it’s ridiculous and I tried to explain that to him but he was having none of it and it escalated to a row.
I have literally just messaged DD and said air bed in room just respect his wishes and inflate it and let him think your using it. I know how stupid it is

I’m just imagining what might happen if the airbed develops a puncture overnight…. 😁

Think DH would combust 🙈

Agree to the air bed for your DHs sake. I remember my mum telling me that my dad asked where me, my sister and respective fellas (they were over 18 and I was 23 with 28 year-old bf ) were sleeping at Christmas. She had him believing that the lads were sharing and my sister and I were sharing. This worked for him.

Really tough one, I understand both perspectives, and I was probably a bit more like your DH when it came to a similar situation with my teen - but then I spoke to some of my friends and they made me see that it's better to be safe and to not create an environment where your teen has to lie or anything like that. This is a really good article for parents that helped me A LOT: https://weareluna.app/parents/guides/sex-and-sexual-health/talking-to-your-teen-about-sex/

Good luck!

Yeah that airbed isnt getting used lol

Your DH is much more lax than I would be. I would tell DD to wait until she moves to student housing.

An airbed is silly, but can easily be propped against a wall.

I have 3, now adult DDs. It is a minefield to negotiate, as it depends on the DD and on the boyfriend. I was usually fairly liberal.

But in one instance with an under 18 DD who had a boyfriend I put my foot down about separate rooms as my gut told me that he was wrong for her in every way. She was a virgin and I wanted to avoid her first time being with the wrong person, especially as she was not yet 18. She was annoyed, but now, as an adult, she says she was glad I took the stand that I did. She knew he was a wrong'un deep down.

Blow up that airbed! Keep the peace!

I think I would have probably burst out laughing at my DH if he had suggested anything that idiotic when our DDs were the same age. 🤣 He wouldn't have though, fortunately.

All are in their twenties now so well past the age when we could have any say in this sort of thing. My middle DD does have her boyfriend round most weekends. She has a rollout bed that fits under her (narrow) single bed in her room. She bought it herself, so I assume they use that arrangement but I don't ask and haven't tried to check.🤣

Eldest has her own house so does whatever she likes. Youngest (23) is hoping to get a place with partner later this year.

I gave up on pretending once dd was 17. We had a spare room but no way were they staying in separate rooms

My boyfriend used to sleep on the landing whilst I slept in his bed, we went inter-railing together for a month after A levels, they stopped enforcing the landing rule after that! 🤣