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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teen has left home without warning.

28 replies

CreechMum · 07/05/2025 11:47

Hi all,

What do you do when your teenager leaves the family home without warning? He left the house on a sunny afternoon, nothing unusual there as it was a Sunday. He then sends me a text message saying he's staying at a friend's house and will be back in a few days.
It's been 4 days now. No replies to my text messages (I've kept my cool so he's not afraid to come back). The police will not help as he's turning 18 in a couple of weeks.
He hasn't gone to college since and at this rate he might not even turn up for his a-level exams.
I have no idea what to do next.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 07/05/2025 11:49

Do you know the friend? What a worry, I’m so sorry.

Original poster
CreechMum · 07/05/2025 11:57

Unfortunately not, he gave me their first name but I don't have their address and they're not on his Facebook friends list.

OP posts:
loropianalover · 07/05/2025 12:06

CreechMum · 07/05/2025 11:57

Unfortunately not, he gave me their first name but I don't have their address and they're not on his Facebook friends list.

Then how do you know that DS is actually there? Can you get in contact with any of his other friends, can they at least verify he’s actually with said friend?

RainyDayCoffee · 07/05/2025 12:13

Oh what a worry! My DD has done this a few times but the triggers have always been issues at home.
I hope he makes contact.
You are right to be concerned.
Has anything happened at home? Would college be able to contact any of his friends as a welfare check?
I cannot believe police won't do anything.
Surely so many adults go missing and they are involved

Isobel201 · 07/05/2025 12:23

I don't see how this is different from an adult who says they're going off for 4 days, but then doesn't reply to messages. I can't believe the police won't do anything.

Octavia64 · 07/05/2025 12:25

There’s usually a back story.

girlfriend dumped him? Bad family news?

some teens do prefer to process this sort of stuff away from family.

gamerchick · 07/05/2025 12:26

The least you need is a welfare check. The police should help you. Even if it's to make sure he's alright.

OatFlatWhiteForMe · 07/05/2025 12:53

Definitely request a welfare check. I assume you have no access to fund my phone etc?

MissyB1 · 07/05/2025 13:01

The police need to take this seriously. Your ds is missing. Get back onto them and be firm!

Original poster
CreechMum · 07/05/2025 13:18

He turned off the Find my Friends app so I have no idea where he is.

OP posts:
Original poster
CreechMum · 07/05/2025 13:21

I don't know, I can only take what he's written at face value. His friends don't seem to know either, but they could of course just be covering for him.

OP posts:
Seeline · 07/05/2025 13:27

You need to look at his IG friends and Snapchat. Teens don't use FB.

OatFlatWhiteForMe · 07/05/2025 13:28

CreechMum · 07/05/2025 13:18

He turned off the Find my Friends app so I have no idea where he is.

Could you log into the cloud and search find devices (iPhone user, but as I pay for the phones I have the log ins.).

I would approach the college and flag a welfare issue too.

Coffeeishot · 07/05/2025 13:32

I think you need to contact the police again and say you are concerned for his welfare, and mental health, I hope he gets in touch soon.

Coffeeishot · 07/05/2025 13:32

Have you spoken to his college pastoral care ?

ShieldMaiden8 · 07/05/2025 13:33

I would contact the police (again if you already have) He may be 18 soon but he’s not 18 yet. he’s gone of the grid etc not turned up to college and you’re worried. Even if he’s 18 you can ask for a welfare check. I’m assuming the behaviour is out of character?

thismummydrinksgin · 07/05/2025 13:36

But hes not 18 yet, so hes still a child. Go back to the police. You have no idea if hes safe or if he’s being exploited.

JustRollIt · 07/05/2025 13:40

Contact the college and explain what has happened. They should also organise a welfare check, pastoral usually go door knocking if they are concerned about a student. Plus they can talk to any of his friends at college too.

Is this friend he is staying with someone he knows from school or college? The more information you can pass on to college the better. The police should also do a welfare check as this is out of character and he is not in contact with you.

justfornow1 · 07/05/2025 13:47

Op, do you have access to his google account? If so you can find his location through that.

ItGhoul · 07/05/2025 13:48

RainyDayCoffee · 07/05/2025 12:13

Oh what a worry! My DD has done this a few times but the triggers have always been issues at home.
I hope he makes contact.
You are right to be concerned.
Has anything happened at home? Would college be able to contact any of his friends as a welfare check?
I cannot believe police won't do anything.
Surely so many adults go missing and they are involved

Edited

The police get involved when adults go missing, but the OP’s son hasn’t gone missing. He’s been in touch to say he’s staying at a mate’s for a few days. The police wouldn’t consider an adult who did that a missing person, they’d consider that (correctly) an adult who is entitled to do what they like.

I completely understand how worried the OP must be, and as she says, her son isn’t quite yet legally an adult. But if her son really is just a couple of weeks away from his 18th and has told the OP he’s OK, I do see why it’s not a major priority for the police. But she would certainly be more than entitled to go back to them if she has concerns that he has actually disappeared, or fears he might harm himself. It’s a horrible position for any parent to be in and I sympathise hugely with the OP.

NoKnickerElastic · 07/05/2025 13:49

So what's the back story? Has he done this before? What sort of crowd does he mix with?

natura · 07/05/2025 14:01

Are your messages being read, OP? Or are you using actual texts so can't see?

I'd let him know you're going to the police, if nothing else to give him a heads-up and encourage a response.

And then notify the police using a non-emergency number so they can advise you on what to do.

Really worrying, OP – I hope he shows up soon.

FumingTRex · 07/05/2025 14:05

Not wanting to worry you but was it definitely him who wrote the message? I would be going round in person to friends houses and make sure they and their parents know this us serious and police are involved. I expect face to face they may be more helpful.

Original poster
CreechMum · 07/05/2025 15:19

Update: he's contacted me on Messenger. He's OK, he's safe, he sent me a screenshot of himself and the friend he said he was staying with. I don't know when he's coming back but this is positive! At least he's communicating again.

OP posts:
justfornow1 · 07/05/2025 15:34

That’s good news op. Contact being made at least must be some relief.

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