DS is just turning 13, has ADHD and was also assessed as 'having autistic traits but not enough to diagnose'.
Ever since he was little he has struggled with owning up/accepting blame/apologising. It was raised with us by his teacher when he was 6 that he showed no qualms about trying to lie his way out of trouble even of it was obvious that he had done something. At home we have also observed this - it's always "I didn't do anything!' when challenged. Pressing the point used to often lead to him having meltdowns but this doesn't really happen now he is older.
The issue is low level disruptive stuff at school. His teachers have flagged with us that when things happen, he refuses to accept responsibility and will deny any wrongdoing/see no need to be remorseful or apologise. It's not a constant thing - there have been three incidents this school year which have been brought to our attention. But his head of year has now flagged it with us as something they want us to work on together as expectations become higher from Y9 onwards.
Has anyone successfully addressed this and improved the issue with a neurodivergent child? We tend to find it takes a lot of explaining as to why DS's behaviour was out of line, why people saw it the way they did and what would actually be the expectation in such a situation before he will slowly begin to consider that he could have behaved differently. I worry that this is the sort of thing that could have huge negative implications as he gets older.