GCSE revision before I lose my mind

[Mickey540]

Hi all one exasperated mom here. I have twin boys doing their GCSEs shortly. One who is taking it seriously and revising however one is more interested in Xbox, going out, seeing friends parties. He is also not the most academic. He did pass one accelerated gcse last year so I know he can if he puts his mind to it. But I cannot get him to do barely any revision without an argument. He is not bright enough to pass without any revision as his mock results have shown.
i have tried everything. Taking things off him. Being lenient. Helping him to do it . Grounding him and I cannot find anything that works.
i am really worried he will fail everything and I am paying extra tuition as well. All his friends are not studying as they aren’t bothered
i am at my wits end today he has done 15 mins if that . Do I let him fail and leave him to it but then as a parent that doesn’t sit right. Any advice who has been through this !?

My son (now year 12) was like this, this time last year. Year 11 was a HARD year. Like your son, mine in bright but lazy/unmotivated and extremely sociable which made it all the more frustrating. He did badly in his mocks but then pulled out the stops in the last couple of weeks before and during (🥴😳🫣) his final exams.

What helped was getting him tutors for Maths and English so at least I knew SOME revision was being done. He also let me help with the subjects I was confident with but only literally right at the end in the final few days before exams. I felt like I lived and breathed that exam period with him!

Anyway, he ended up doing well - better than expected and is now doing A-Levels and still not doing enough work!!!!

good luck!

Following with interest!!

@shelle07I could have written this. Especially the bit about your son staying up late into the night to revise before exams. I was so stressed! And now, like you we have the same issue with A-Levels!!! 😭 😵‍💫

@boredwithfoodprob ah thanks that’s a good post, gives me some hope. Hopefully tomorrow he will have a different mindset
he does have maths and English tuition hoping it pays off!!!

One thing that worked for me was literally sitting with dc and going through the specification to see where the problem areas were. This took time though for each subject. If he’ll let you do this, start with English and Maths and then maybe 2-3 other subjects he likes as he might be more motivated with those. I took a few days off work leading up to the exams to help and then during them to ensure dc was on track. One thing to drum home is that one bad exam doesn’t mean they should give up altogether.

Ultimately though it’s up to them - some kids just mature academically later on and some are more suited to a vocational pathway.

@snowsjoke thanks for the reply
yes I have tried to help him but he is reluctant he will let me mark past papers as I can get the answers online but it such an afford to get him to do these. Hoping today he may come to his senses but yes not academic but smart in other ways 😀

Have you tried paying him to revise? An hourly rate? Might make a difference

Encourage talk bribe etc but really nothing you can do

This really - it was DD1 who was most like this then covid hit - but came back for her A-levels. She did well enough to get somewhere she liked but I think issue was she felt overwhelmed as has some ND and SEN - she wouldn't accept help really very head in sand.

However DS middle child was really overwhelmed and school was a shambles but would work with me and did really well at GCSE - - it's a wait and see for A-levels coming soon.

With youngest GCSE she could easily do more and do better but if I push too hard she'll stop - so it talk, bribe support make sure she happy about next plan keep stressing how importnat it is and checking in with her and crossing fingers.

The problem is it can be hard to re-take in some areas of find alternative couses without maths and English - if you can find a plan b - might help to know it's there.

This was me as a teen. My parents didn't force me at all. I'm not a tutor preparing other teens for their GCSES. By trying to force him it won't make him suddenly want to sit and study, it will just put a wedge between you both. Explain to him it's an important step in education and should be taken seriously and that's all the power you have, the rest is on him

*now a tutor

@sequin no I could try this !!!

Some schools make some pupils do their revision in school instead of allowing them on study leave. Might that be an option - although if his mates are also in the group it may not help.

You cannot make him revise.
You can make home as conducive as possible - place to study, snacks etc.
I know quite a few parents who offered cash rewards for certain grades? Or some kind of reward?
You could break that down to something to reward revising - whatever motivates your son, maybe a takeaway or breakfast out? Cash!

@myrtle70 yss my other DS said that the school are not giving study leave they still have to go in until the exams although not entirely sure it’s compulsory better if it was.

Try and relax a bit op. He's old enough to know what will happen and to realise the consequences. GCSEs can be done again if they need to be.

@Allmarbleslost you sound like my husband 🤣 I know I only want the best for him but I can’t make a horse drink water

I said to DH we could lock DS in his room with nothing but a revision guide and a pen and he could still choose NOT to revise!!
You can guide, help, bribe and threaten but you CANNOT make them do it.

We’ve had a good day today he did and hour after school and I sat with him to do a science paper as one of you suggested which worked well and he enjoyed it . Will try again Tom with him 🤞