Before I lose my mind with dd2.....chores

[Jamfirstest]

Dd1 is no problem with this most of the time. She is 15 and very easy. Dd2 is very seeet and loving but the laziness and has got so much worse this year.
They have to empty their lunch boxes etc every day after school and bring down their laundry straight away after school on Fridays. They both have weekly space maths. They have a basket full of clean laundry returned to them on Sundays which they must put away.

The battle with dd2 to do these jobs is getting worse every week. I know it's very normal but my mental load feels very heavy. I have just told her dad he has to speak to her this time because I will shout at her and lose my temper and that's not how I want to deal with it (I am very sleep deprived and stressed for other reasons).
I have suggested her phone is removed until the laundry and sparx are done tomorrow.
I know it's so normal but I'm welcoming any advice.

Do you know why DD2 is not doing these very minor chores? Why have you assumed it is laziness? How old is she? What is going on in her life? Has she always had trouble staying on top of things?

Gosh I feel for you, I wouldn't even call those chores! Simply moving a few things around the house that takes 30 seconds? She's taking the piss.

My dc do their own laundry (sometimes need reminding but they do it without fuss) and much more besides. 2 are now at uni and very independent domestically.

Why would you shout and lose your temper just because she hasn't put her laundry away. If she doesn't want to does it matter that much if it's in her room. If she doesn't and it gets creased that's down to her. Not sure why you are so stressed about this.

No lunch box returned then don’t refill it, no washing downstairs, don’t wash it.

I imagine she will start to conform pretty quickly.

I swore my children would do chores. However my eldest was just one long battle. She's grown up now and is still untidy, hardly ever cleans or changes bedding. In the end it made no difference and was a source of stress. Didn't bother so much with DD2 as it's not worth the hassle. Life is too short and taking some washing upstairs is hardly a game changer.

But you've raised adults who can't look after themselves? Not cleaning or changing bedding is basics.

This^^

Ask what you expect of her, if she doesn't do it then she will soon see the consequences of her laziness.

But I don't get why you are getting so stressed about her not putting her laundry away. Its her room, let it pile up and get creased. Again, learning consequences of her actions. Leave her to it. No need to shout, lose your temper or get stressed about it.

This.
To be honest as a teen I didn’t hate having to do things, I just hated having to do things when my mum said so.
I would much have preferred to have the whole responsibility of doing my own lunch and washing when I was ready.

Sorry I should have said. She's 12 - year 7

I am close to this approach!

@friendsonly dd1 makes her one lunch and sorts everything out herself and sorted her own routine. I took back making dd2 lunch because she can't keep the routine and it became another source of stress. I took that back with the expectation she did the other stuff

The update is in the end I vented to dd1 who said I ought to take her phone away until the chore were done as most of it is on one day. Dd1 blabbed the dd2 this was on the cards. As if by magic dd2 has completed half her sparx and put her clothes away without a fuss......

I know I could back off but I'm not letting them grow up with crap independence skills.

Nice update!

Great update

my sister used to run interference between DM and me. Then later, when DM was beginning to fail I’d do the same between DM and DSis. Looking back they were happy days. Wish I’d realised sg the time.