Posititity post for parents worried about teens with no friends

[Ifeelfat]

Just a quick one.

I want to reassure some of you who I see on here worried about their teens, particularly boys, who appear to have no friends other than those online, and who are happy to spend their lives at home in front of screens and not ‘out enjoying themselves on bikes etc’
This was my life from the age of about 14-17.

DS never really bonded with his peer group at school and was really pretty miserable between years 9-11. It was a grim time.

Hes now 20, at uni and has a real circle of lovely friends. The problem wasn’t him, it was more the levels of aggression that he lived with daily at his otherwise’good’ school.

it’ll seem like forever when you’re going through it, but it does end and they come out of it. Just let them be at home, reassure them that they’re loved and lovely, and build their confidence at every opportunity, because of course that’s all most of them really need. We just lose sight of that because everyone else’s kids are fine 😬

hope this is of some use to someone.

What a lovely idea.
I had a similar experience with DC having a pretty bumpy ride at secondary and now found their place in the world, and I agree value them for who they are, help them pursue the things they enjoy and hopefully things will get better

Thank you so much for posting this. My DS12 seems to be really lacking friends and doesn’t seem to have a close group at school either. I worry about him. He’s lovely and sociable but just needs the right group. He’s not a rough play, aggressive kid or that sporty. Doesn’t like bullying banter. Thank you for posting

This is a lovely post, and I really needed to hear it! Thank you!

💛

This is great to read. My 13yo has ASD and is in mainstream school and very "high functioning" (sorry I know some hate that term) but has always been much better at talking to adults than people his own age. Does well at school and I hoped when he got to secondary he'd met his tribe but he hasn't. He doesn't even chat to friends online. But he doesn't mind this at all - he'd rather spend his free time on his own interests (mostly creative projects... And a bit of YouTube/Netflix) than with others.

Thank you, this is really helpful. DD has not yet found her place at secondary (coming to end of y7) and I continually squishing down the worries

This is so heartening to read, I am so happy for you both OP Xxx

thank you so much for this. We are in the middle of the tunnel now and can’t wait to see light at the end. It has been very difficult esp when they are not communicating with family either. It’s absolutely heart breaking. We tried so many ways but he is locked in his own shell while appearing ok (getting on with school and doing well academically, teachers have no concern). The only thing we could do is to be here for him, offering help etc

I’m constantly worried that we are missing something, and that we should be doing or saying something or taking him somewhere.

Thank you so much for this. Currently in the throes of this with DS14. It gets me down on a daily basis but this gives me hope x