Hi all,
Looking for a bit of advice.
My 17-year-old daughter has just been invited on holiday to France with her best friend and their family — they go most years, so it’s a familiar and exciting offer for her.
However, about five months ago, I told her and her dad (we’re divorced) that my partner, his daughter (who’s the same age and gets along well with mine), and I had planned a holiday to Ireland that same week. We have family and a holiday home there, and it’s all been booked and coordinated for some time.
It’s not often the two girls or the four of us get to spend time together because they live in different parts of the country, so this trip was quite meaningful for us.
My daughter is with her dad this weekend, and he’s just messaged me to say she’s been invited to France. We don’t get in so he won’t have said anything to her about sticking to our Ireland plan. I know she’ll likely want to go. It’s not just about logistics or money, my partner’s daughter will understandably feel dropped, and I worry about the message it sends about commitment to my daughter who often cancels on plans last minute.
So I’m torn:
Do I put my foot down and explain that when something’s been arranged and paid for, it needs to be honoured even if it’s not the more “exciting” option? Or do I let her decide, knowing she’ll almost be 18 by then and technically old enough to make her own choices, even if that stings a bit?
Would really appreciate any thoughts.