Teen son connection difficult

[Nelly10]

I have a DS (14) DD (10) I split up from exh after nearly 20 years together. Multiple infidelities not known until the split then filed for divorce he was a very difficult man (likely ADHD and narcissistic behaviours). The kids don’t know a lot of what happened obviously I haven’t told them however my son is heavily influenced by his dad and I’m finding his personality becoming more like my exh which is difficult. I’m finding it difficult to connect with him he doesn’t want to do any activities with me even though he will with his dad and his gf (was one of his AP’s) anyone have any experience if this? Any tips?

I don’t but bumping this in case anyone can help you.

What sort of activities are you suggesting to him OP? It's normal for him to want to do different things than the ones he used to enjoy.

I have two teenage sons, and here are a few ideas for the things I've found worked well to bond with them:

• Car chats when I'm giving them a lift to football training - they sometimes chat more easily in the car than at home
• Finding a TV programme we enjoy watching together - Taskmaster has worked well with both my DSs, or sometimes I watch sport with them
• One of them likes playing online chess
• Food bribery - one of mine loves a full English and would never refuse an offer to take him out to breakfast. Or maybe a milkshake or a Sunday roast - whatever appeals to your DS
• One of mine likes cooking so we sometimes cook a meal together.

Thank you for the replies.

I ask him to do things gym/walk anything he wants really but he’s just not into it. He does anything with his dad park walks etc so it’s not like he doesn’t want to do them things.

We do have good chats when he wants to talk I think I just need to keep building on that. It’s just a tricky age and I feel it more being the single main parent and think I am doing a good job here!