How does my 14 yo’s day look?

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This post was inspired by an earlier post!!! So I thought I would ask how my 14 year old daughter’s weekend/holiday day looks:

7:00-8:00 - Get up
8:30 - Breakfast
She then usually goes upstairs to game/relax.
9:30-11.00 - Long walk
More relaxing time, then lunch sometime around 12:30-1.00
Then we all relax until we usually go to an art exhibit/another walk sometime in the afternoon
5:30-6.00 - dinner, then bath
Then at about 7-7:30 she disappears to write for two hours.

how does her day look? Is it normal or should there be more incorporated in it? She is SEN (AUDHD) so I know regular screen time rules are different and she also doesn’t partake in sport for this reason. Thoughts?

This is correct. Like adults everyone is different. Mine is ND had friends and had a pretty difficult and extremely damaging and dangerous teenage years. It’s good that she is close to her family and enjoys writing. Try not to compare with others- if she was out all the time and you were worried about her safety that in my opinion would be worse. She will grow into herself like we mostly do in our 20’s. Long may the writing continue:)

Sounds tough op, I say that as a ND Mum to a ND teen dd so I do understand. I really wouldn’t worry whether her days looks ok or normal to others for a ND teen, just whatever keeps her as happy and healthy as possible. I had some horrific times in my early teens with bullying and then body image then mental health, stopped being myself and started masking to fit in, which is exhausting. But I didn’t know I was ND back then and didn’t have a supportive or empathetic mother. Your dd’s family and home are obviously her safe space, and you’ve explained she has issues sleeping and finds socialising hard, so I think for her the day looks perfect

All teens are different.

My DS has ADHD and rarely sleeps past 7.30am at the weekend and in the holidays. On a Sunday he's up at 6.30am to play tennis. On a Saturday he's up by 7.30 so he can take his meds and concentrate for his homework.

He does a lot of sport and homework on a weekend. Has a few chores but nothing major, mainly tidying and taking the bins out, laying and clearing the table, hanging out the laundry.

Plays with school friends online (max 1hr a day), occasionally goes to the cinema. Plays table tennis with a friend.

Also gets dragged to the beach every couple of weekends with us.

Both my DC are ND. The whole family is extremely routine based because that is what we like. So our weekend wake up and bedtimes are almost exactly the same as in the week. Same with on holiday. At most we shift the times by 60-90 minutes. It works for us.

At weekends/holidays my 14 year old doesn’t leave her room until about 10 and she’ll stay in her pyjamas all day if we’ve got no plans unless we force her to get dressed and take the dog for a walk 😂

@Mulledjuice No and no. She has good dedication to writing though. And I won’t pressure her to do sports because I used to push her and she’d break down every day.
@arethereanyleftatall I don’t know. She seems okay, if a little lonely and sad, but some of it is her choice so she must be comfortable.

If she's happy with it then it's fine.

She's going outside for walks and to visit places with you. That's good.

She has her hobby of writing. Thats good. Possibly her hyperfixation but there's nothing wrong with that.

My ADHD child was in school induced burnout at 14 and would hardly leave her bed, let alone her bedroom or the house, so you're well ahead on our situation at that age.

Does she want to socialise at all? If she does then do you have any SEN groups you could go to at all? They're a bit of a mixed bag but there might be one near you that you could try. Alternatively perhaps a writing class might be something she would enjoy.

Don't try and compare her/your life to others - particularly on Mumsnet. It generally won't be particularly helpful. Mostly you'll be told to parent away her neurodiversity.

A chore perhaps is missing.
Does she have any regular jobs?

Helpful incidental social interactions with strangers - like buying the daily bread for family.
Does she have any books on the go? Series or novels that you could also read and discuss.
Any cousins or friends over for a bit?

Every kid is different.They all refresh themselves in their own way. She seems fine as long as she is content and sleeping well.

5.30-6 is a bit on the early side for dinner.

I think it is fine.
It is better than my 20yo who is recovering from mh issues and also has some SN.

For you maybe but I think that’s pretty normal

Once DS2 has relaxed into his holiday he will be up at about 11am then game, chat to mates, build planes all from the comfort of his computer chair.

He might go out and play a bit of volleyball, make himself food etc otherwise he just chills until its time for dinner at 7.30pm!

This is when we are both out at work btw.

I am quite happy with this. He works very hard during term time and needs his down time.

Early?! We’ve often had dinner cooked and eaten by 5! I don’t like eating a main meal much past 7pm.