15 year old boy keeps asking girls out

[Yorkshiregardener]

Hi
I'm really worried about my teenage son. In the last month he's asked out a lot of girls from school, all of whom have said no. He's getting a terrible reputation, making girls feel uncomfortable with constant messaging and has been threatened by a couple of boyfriends.
I have removed his phone to let things calm down a bit but he seems completely unaware of how he's making these girls feel or why he should stop. He's desperate for a girlfriend but is only ostracisng himself from his classmates by coming across as desperate.

Does anyone have any advice?

He may well be and now its showing itself in how he is trying to make approaches to girls

As for other posters wondering what he says or feels about what he is doing, he may not be able to answer that, he might not know why he keeps repeating the same behaviour and being rejected, it may not make sense to him.

It seems more than just awkward poor social skills, bit obsessive and repetitive despite getting the same outcome each time.

I wouldn’t necessarily trust schools to raise it - I discussed my child and ADHD, teacher laughed and disregarded it and then went on to discuss how he fidgets, can’t sit still, makes sounds unknowingly and a whole other list of things, she had not related it at all which is worrying. I have ADHD and already am pursuing a diagnosis for my son.

It could be worth a discussion with the GP.

Is convinced all his friends have girlfriends except him...

So he does see girls as trophies - or accessories - that allow a boy to maintain his place in the pecking order among the boys, or advance to a higher atatus, and the lack of one keeps him in a lowly spot.

Gaming reinforces the hierarchical mindset, and also the notion of accessories that bestow status or powers.

There may also be the pressure of not wanting to be labelled as gay/ asexual/ incel which could contribute to him acting desperately. Also bear in mind there is a surplus of males, so many of the girls at school would probably already have boyfriends.

Or he is lonely and thinking and perceiving that everyone else is paired up simply intensifies the feeling, particularly if he is ND in any shape or form.

Does your DS just ask the girls to be his girlfriend straight away? Around here the teens have a lengthy period before official girlfriend/boyfriend status called chatting, where they basically spend time, often months, getting to know each other before committing. Sometimes chatting leads to being girlfriend/boyfriend, sometimes not. Maybe talk to him and explain that, especially if he's ND.

I ageee that the standard mode here amongst same age group is "talking' which is basically texting for quite a while...anything between 3 weeks and 3 months generally, then moves onto a 'date' and after that the boys will ask the girls out but by that point they are pretty sure.

The asking out is also done face to face in this scenario....

I do get the desire to get a girlfriend as a teenager, it must be very strong for many and there is nothing wrong with it but it sounds like he needs guidance as to how to do this respectfully and along social norms.

Rejection is also pretty high for many, especially the kids who are less confident/popular/trendy/sporty...